It happened to me

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      When I was sixteen years old, I clearly remember being in parenting class with my good friend, having a laugh at the cheesy 90s educational video about Domestic Violence, I remember saying to my friend “That’ll NEVER be me, no husband of mine will hurt me physically or otherwise, will NOT let that happen”….but it did.
      I thought I found gold, when I met him. He was personable, kind, caring, a charmer. He was going places and I wanted to be a part of it! I was in LOVE.
      I should have known something wasn’t quite right though when he gave me the ultimatum of living with him right now! Or we break up. I chose to live with him. That’s where everything changed. I believe now, thinking back, that when I submitted to his ultimatum and “gave in” that he probably thought he could control me and I would simply obey him.
      As he got older and didn’t really like the direction his life was going, he began taking his frustrations out on me. It started with casual put downs,  for example not liking my cooking, or telling me what I could and couldn’t buy at the grocery store. The name calling was beginning to happen too.
      When we moved into the townhouse thats when things got bad. The first time he slapped me across my face, he felt so bad he got on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness. I did.
      The first time he made me bleed, my lip, that he had split open with his elbow, that first time, I was in such shock, I took pictures right away. There was no begging from him at this point. That day he made me bleed, he also chipped my tooth broke my toes and damaged my arm permanently. After he calmed down by smoking Marijuana, he said it wouldn’t happen again and that he was sorry.
      The worst part though was when he grabbed my face, told me to call myself a “stupid bitch” and when I finally gave in after the pain he was putting on my face, I finally called myself that, he said “I know you are” and spit right in my face. He was supposed to love me, be my protector, my lover, my best friend. What he was doing was not love,  was not protecting me.
      Two weeks before the BIG FIGHT where I finally left him, two weeks before that,  we had yet another argument, and I will forever remember him looking at me through the mirror in our en suite bathroom, he looked at me with dark eyes and said “I’m gonna kill you, you know that right”  And even though I believed him, I still didn’t leave.
      I left Jan 11 2018. My husband beat me so bad, (ultimately punching me in the face) the neighbors heard, called the police, the police saw my face and arrested him.
      I escaped him, I went into hiding for a week, eventually moved in with my mom and sister. It was hard. I had to start my life over again. But it was so worth it. I am free. I don’t ever have to see that man again ever.
      My sister said to me one day as I was hurting and angry at what happened to me, she said “Beth, I want you to always remember that YOU are a survivor, YOU are strong, and the best revenge is to Live, and Live Well”  So now I tell all you Survivors, Live and Live Well!

    • #13779 Reply
      Leslie Smith

      I’m so sorry you went through all that. My prayers and thoughts are with you. 💗

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