<\/p>\n
Deep breath.
\nYou’re here now.
\nYou just have to press the buzzer.
\nThey’ll let you in.
\nMy heart is pounding.
\nI press the buzzer.
\nThey’re expecting me.
\nThey open the door.I walk in.
\nI’m greeted by a friendly face and a warm smile.
\nShe leads me to a room.
\nShe makes me a cup of Tea.
\nShe leaves the room.
\nThere are women already here.
\nI wasn’t expecting to see so many faces.
\nI serach for a seat.
\nI find one.
\nI sit down.
\nI keep my coat and bag on just incase I need to make a quick exit.
\nThe room is uncomfortably quiet.
\nI’m sure they can hear my heart beating.
\nI feel like a fraud.
\nI shouldn’t be here.I’m not like these women.
\nHe never hit me.
\nI sip my tea.
\nMy hands are trembling.
\nWe all look petrified.
\nAwkward smiles are exchanged (mostly by me).
\nI don’t want to be here.
\nI should go.
\nHe’d sometimes put me down in front of my friends to make me look stupid.
\nHe never hit me.
\nAnother woman walks in the room.
\nNow’s my chance to leave.
\nI get ready to dart out.
\nShe sits next to me.
\nShe’s sitting on my bag.
\nI’m stuck.
\nShit.
\nHe used to touch me when I didn’t want to be touched.
\nHe never hit me.
\nI definitely shouldn’t be here.
\nIf only she’d change her position.
\nShe looks comfy.
\nThe friendly faced woman is back.
\nHe used to call me frigid and would tell me it was ”like having sex with a plank of wood”.
\nHe never hit me.
\n‘She explains what’s going to happen for the next 6 weeks.
\nHe used to tell me that I was ”just like my mum”.
\nHe never hit me.
\nIt’s a lot to take in.
\nWomen are crying.
\nThey share their stories.
\nHe used to ignore me on a daily basis.
\nHe said I was boring.
\nHe never hit me.
\nOne woman is too distraught to speak.
\nIt becomes too much for her.
\nShe leaves.
\nMy tea is cold.
\nI still hold on to it to stop me from trembling.
\nHe would guilt trip me into having sex with him.
\nHe never hit me.
\nShe’s putting us into groups.
\nFor the first time ever, I don’t want to talk.
\nThey’re going to think that I don’t deserve to be there.
\nIdon’t deserve to be here.
\nHe said I was ”going mad’ and that it must be my hormones.
\nHe used to make me think I was losing it.
\nHe never hit me.
\nWe discuss different types of abuse.
\nPhysical was bottom of the list.
\nHe told me I was a nag.
\nThe only way he could ‘cope’ with me was smoking weed.
\nHe never hit me.
\nThe session is over with already.
\nIt’s time to go home.
\nHe used to undermine me all the time.
\nHe turned my son against me.
\nHe never hit me.
\nShe reads an extract from a book.
\nWe leave on a positive.
\nHe used to tell me I was selfish.
\nHe used to tell me I only ever thought about myself.
\nFinally. I am.<\/p>\n
\nNotice: The names in this story are fictitious to protect the request for anonymity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Survivor Sister Amanda McClain speaks out breaking her silence about domestic violence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,522],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-break-your-silence","category-sister-survivors"],"yoast_head":"\n