I found out the hard way that nothing is what it seems….but I’ve overcome so much in the 4 years that I finally left my DV relationship and got a protective order, cut all contact and blocked anyone associated to my abuser. <\/p>\n
This wasn’t the worst of it and I’m lucky to be here. I stayed after this… I told my bosses I got into a car accident because my body was covered in huge, disgusting bruises and there was no other way to explain. I was manipulated into deleting the pictures and into thinking that it would never get that bad again. Somehow, I saved this one. Which looking back could have cost me my life.<\/p>\n
I was with someone, but I was alone. I had to continuously lie to people I cared about so they didn’t know what was going on. I lied to myself. I cried every day. I didn’t want anyone to think less of a person that I loved and wanted the best for. I didn’t want anyone to think less of me. I never even thought I was being abused yet I hated how I felt every day.. the anxiety, the fear, the walking on eggshells. When is it going to happen again? What will set him off? What if someone finds out? I know this isn’t him, is it? <\/p>\n
I had based so many of my decisions around not hurting others when in turn, it was hurting me… Now, I know that all I need to do is love others as much as I can and make decisions on what is best for ME. Sometimes that means walking away… or running and leaving everything behind to get away. I had the choice to either stay and eventually get killed or leave everything I had and someone I thought I loved deeply and knew better than anyone. <\/p>\n
Today, 4 years after leaving for good, even though healing is linear, I’M NOT AFRAID ANYMORE (*Kevin Macallister- home alone voice*)
\nI am the one I love and want the best for. I’m a work in progress. I have good days and bad days, but I’m here. I’m alive. I want you to be, too.<\/p>\n
Looking back it was the manipulation and psychological abuse that did the most damage and it’s so hard to fully see when you’re in it. <\/p>\n
Please, get out of your toxic relationship. Even if there’s no physical abuse… the mental abuse and secret manipulation takes a hold of you and slowly changes you, but you can get through it. There is hope. You matter. I’m a good shoulder to cry on and I would never judge you or any situation. I could not have done any of this without the amazing support from my family and friends. Reach out to me for any reason. I’m here. You’re not alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I found out the hard way that nothing is what it seems….but I’ve overcome so much in the 4 years that I finally left my DV relationship and got a protective order, cut all contact and blocked anyone associated to my abuser. This wasn’t the worst of it and I’m lucky to be here. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,344],"tags":[665,374],"class_list":["post-16925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-break-your-silence","category-survivor-stories","tag-eltmpl","tag-survivor-stories"],"yoast_head":"\n