Seeing your bruises then feeling the subsequent mixture of anger, frustration, guilt, numbness, weakness, and self-blame. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You might be getting no sleep or easily startled all the time. You feel alone or that people won\u2019t understand. Bruising is one of the most common injuries among abused people. Victims will try to dismiss their bruising to protect their abuser. They may do this out of fear or reluctance. There are sadly so many stories of this and if this is currently your story, know that you are NEVER alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is one victim\u2019s perspective after abuse and their bruising. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We were laughing and chilling in the car when suddenly, he got angry again. I am not even sure for what reason, but usually it was because I said something he didn\u2019t like. Before I knew it\u2026 a blow to my cheek bone. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The thoughts going through my head were mostly of shock. I didn\u2019t think much about it except that I was going to stand up for myself this time. I opened my hand and did a slap to his cheek and told him not to touch me like that. That was the first and last time I tried retaliation. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n He kept hitting my cheekbone and I thought it would never stop. His hand was heavy and hard, because he had no bones in his fist from previous fights. They had been replaced with metal by surgeries. Before I knew it, he was cursing at me and throwing me out the car and sped off. My cheek felt broken and swollen. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n My cheek and under my eye were bruised. I couldn\u2019t go into work like this! Everyone there knew I was with an angry guy. My family knew as well, but not to this extent. I had to hide this, but I was panicking. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I got dressed fast and sat in front of the mirror with all my makeup. My thoughts were going crazy while starting to cover the bruising. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why did he do this to me and treat me this way all the time? He goes off so easily about anything\u2013the way I dress to even making eye contact with anyone. I started beating myself up looking in the mirror. It was my fault, of course, and how could I be better so he would never do this again. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I was nervous to see him, because of my retaliation and I would never live this down. How did I get here and how will I ever be happy again? I am sick of my body being sore every day from him throwing me around or the concussions. I was thinking about how I didn\u2019t know what it was like not to be sore anymore. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I saw my permanently broken finger in the mirror from the year before while almost done with my attempt to cover the bruise. I started crying uncontrollably at that point. What was holding me in this relationship? It was fear, striving for acceptance I think, and feelings that were never reciprocated. My thoughts stopped abruptly as I saw all my work with the makeup was ruined from my tears. I yelled in frustration with myself as I had to restart. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n My heart was beating so fast heading to work. My anxiety was so high. The second I walked in, my coworkers noticed. I realized I couldn\u2019t hide like I thought.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n As always, most people walked away, because they didn\u2019t know how to be around abuse. It made me feel ignored and not important. I turned the corner and my friend looked up at me and immediately glared at me. I said good morning and they responded it\u2019s my fault since I chose to be in a relationship with this guy. I felt shut out and that I couldn’t talk to anyone even though everyone knew. They made me feel even more alone and ashamed. I went to the bathroom and leaned over to cry so my tears would fall to the ground without ruining the makeup I worked so hard on. I came out with all the strength I could gather and drowned myself in music and worked the rest of the day alone with my thoughts<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When I went home my family wasn\u2019t around. I hid in my room most of the night. They knew about my relationship, but they didn\u2019t do much about it. He just wasn\u2019t allowed in the house.They wouldn\u2019t do much but I just didn\u2019t want them to judge me. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I did with the bruise covered and he started yelling on the phone how I didn\u2019t do a good enough job. He said people will think it was his fault when it was mine, because I never behave or act correctly. If I was a better person it never would have happened, and I was the first girl he hit. He hung up on me and blocked my number for the rest of the day as punishment. This was my day to day \u2018till the bruising was healed\u2026 There would be many more bruises to come.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes violence only lasts a matter of minutes, but the bruising left behind is a long visual reminder. The memory of that moment will usually keep replaying in a victim\u2019s head,trying to make sense of the experience. Then the victim will think of ways they could have responded differently. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You are stronger than you think, and there is hope for a better future. You deserve happiness and a life without violence. Never forget that you are not defined by your past or what you’ve experienced. Believe in your own worth and value. Take small steps towards healing. Each step, no matter how small, is a step forward on your journey to reclaiming your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are in danger, please contact 911 or The National Domestic Hotline: https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Otherwise please reach out for resources and information. We at Break the Silence are always here for you and together we can end domestic violence: https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/support-line\/<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Articles Used <\/p>\n\n\n\n https:\/\/www.police1.com\/investigations\/articles\/bruise-interpretation-tips-for-abuse-investigations-seiG2iGmb5uCUik5\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/victim-mentality<\/a> https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/think-act-be\/201609\/21-common-reactions-trauma<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Seeing your bruises then feeling the subsequent mixture of anger, frustration, guilt, numbness, weakness, and self-blame. You might be getting no sleep or easily startled all the time. You feel alone or that people won\u2019t understand. Bruising is one of the most common injuries among abused people. Victims will try to dismiss their bruising to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[348,569,594,590],"tags":[90,117,115],"class_list":["post-17966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-domestic-abuse","category-escaping-abuse","category-safety","tag-domestic-violence","tag-physical-abuse","tag-survivor"],"yoast_head":"\nMy alarm went off the next morning, and I looked in the mirror\u2026<\/em><\/strong> <\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
I was nervous people would comment\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The next morning my abuser called me and asked me to send him a photo of my face\u2026 <\/em><\/strong> <\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n