{"id":19507,"date":"2024-10-18T17:40:33","date_gmt":"2024-10-19T00:40:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=19507"},"modified":"2025-03-28T14:26:39","modified_gmt":"2025-03-28T21:26:39","slug":"recognizing-emotional-abuse-a-gay-male-survivors-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=19507","title":{"rendered":"A Gay Male Survivor\u2019s Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Survivor Connor <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I was about 14 when this happened, and I didn\u2019t realize it was domestic violence until a I was 16.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was 14, I started texting this guy who was 16. We instantly had such a great friendship, we would text daily and FaceTime and call constantly. This human was a really big part of my life even before we started dating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I never got any weird feelings about him, he always seemed so nice. So when he asked me out I was so happy, especially because it was my first gay relationship after coming out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Starting Off Fine<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It started off fine, but only for the first few days. About a week into the relationship, he asked me to send through selfies and I did. Then, he sent me a screenshot of my picture as his wallpaper. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the time I thought it was a little weird that he\u2019d done that so quickly. We\u2019d only been dating a week and we weren\u2019t very serious, but I ignored it and passed it off because it wasn\u2019t anything wrong. It just felt a bit weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he started texting me rather sexual messages, and considering I was 14 at the time I found them very uncomfortable. Not to mention, when I asked him to stop sending them he wouldn\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Going Downhill From There<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

That was about a week and a half in, and it was my first big sign that this wasn\u2019t a good relationship. After that, he very quickly started saying he loved me, that he didn\u2019t know what he\u2019d do without me, and that I\u2019d saved him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two weeks in, it all got too much. Everything felt way too quick, he was ignoring my boundaries and sending me sexual messages, and was constantly telling me how much he loved and needed me and couldn\u2019t live without me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was just over two weeks in that I decided to break it off, and that\u2019s when things got worse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He called and texted me for hours begging me not to leave him because he couldn\u2019t live without me. As well as he started telling me that he was going to kill himself if I left him and that his death would be on my hands. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making Moves to Be a Male Survivor and Get Out<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At that point, I managed to block him on all social media. Thankfully he didn\u2019t know where I lived, so I felt safe that it was over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, he managed to get into contact with my best friend. Who sent me a message the next day saying that he\u2019d been texting her and saying that he was going to kill himself because of me. He also send through photos of him cutting himself and telling her to show me because it was \u2018my fault\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She blocked him too, and we put him behind us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years Later<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even years after the relationship, I carry a guilt around with me. Even though he never physically hurt me, I still have the mental scars from it. For months I worried that he was actually going to kill himself. Wondered whether I\u2019d actually caused his death, tore myself up over him, and even debated getting back together with him so that he wouldn\u2019t do it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully, I didn\u2019t, but even today I haven\u2019t had a relationship since I dated him because I\u2019ve felt so scared of it happening again, of feeling that overwhelming fear I felt for so long after him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To this day, the only person who knows I had this relationship is my best friend. My family still don\u2019t know, neither do any of my other friends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Emotional Scars of a Male Survivor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I was embarrassed and scared, I didn\u2019t know what they\u2019d think, whether they would think I was overreacting, whether they would blamed me, whether they would tell me I shouldn\u2019t have left him, whether they\u2019d judge me for being a male victim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I wanted to share my story here, because as a gay male survivor and victim of emotional and psychological abuse, I hope that my story can show that other people should never feel like they have to stay with someone who is causing them fear and threatening them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check These Resources:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n