{"id":20686,"date":"2026-09-17T16:31:12","date_gmt":"2026-09-17T23:31:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=20686"},"modified":"2026-09-17T16:31:14","modified_gmt":"2026-09-17T23:31:14","slug":"ptsd-when-the-danger-is-gone-but-your-body-still-remembers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=20686","title":{"rendered":"PTSD: When the Danger Is Gone but Your Body Still Remembers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By: Iris Davis Pendleton<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ptsd:the body remembers<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I remember it like it was yesterday. He stormed into the house and declared loudly, \u201cI\u2019m tired of this %$#!\u201d Then he rushed over, put his hands around my neck, and squeezed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I closed my eyes and prepared for the end. I\u2019m still not sure why he stopped that day, but he did. And when he released me, I felt something inside of me say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Now you can leave.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Maybe I needed to hear those words because, for years, I had made so many excuses for why I couldn\u2019t leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He was too sick. He was too indigent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had invested too much time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What would people say? What would happen to him What would happen to us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But in that moment, none of those excuses mattered anymore. I knew I had to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When he stormed out of the house, I told my children to grab whatever they could carry. We rushed to the car, and I drove straight toward the interstate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I didn\u2019t know everything that would happen next, I only knew we were leaving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That drive became the beginning of a new chapter of freedom in our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That was six years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But trauma doesn\u2019t always understand calendars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The attack happened from behind me. Even now, years later, I become uneasy when someone walks up or stands too closely behind me. It can happen in an innocent situation like standing in a grocery store line, walking through a crowded room, or talking with someone at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My body reacts before my mind has time to remind it that I am safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I back up, become defensive, and prepare myself to fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just the other day, my husband, who is safe, was standing behind me while I was working at my desk. Before I could stop myself, I snapped at him because I could feel that familiar discomfort rising inside of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another time, I almost hit a colleague who playfully snuck up behind me during a meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They weren\u2019t trying to hurt me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I knew that, but for a moment, my body didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is one of the difficult realities of trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes you can know you are safe and still feel unsafe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can know the person standing behind you loves you and still feel your body tense. Hearing people arguing across a room can cause you to immediately brace yourself for an attack that is never coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Loud talking, yelling, sudden movements, and conflict can still make me jump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes my heart begins racing before I even understand why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My mind may recognize that the danger is over, but my nervous system remembers a time when loud voices, angry words, and someone coming up behind me could mean that I was about to be hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a reason the book \u201cThe Body Keeps the Score\u201d has resonated with so many survivors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Trauma is not stored only in the stories we remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it shows up in our shoulders tightening. Trauma shows up in the way we make decisions and react to certain situations. We may carefully scan a room before finding a seat. It can impact how close we allow someone to stand. The past trauma can cause us to jump when a door slams. An argument between strangers can suddenly make our hearts race. It can activate the instinct to protect ourselves before we have even determined whether protection is necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For a long time, I think I expected leaving to mean that everything associated with the abuse would be over. And in many ways, it was. I was free, no longer living in that house, no longer waiting for the next explosion, and no longer trying to calculate what mood someone was in before deciding what I could say or do. To my disappointment, leaving the unsafe environment did not immediately erase what surviving that environment had taught my body.That has been a different journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Healing has meant learning to recognize the difference between then and now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then, someone coming up behind me could be dangerous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, it may simply be my husband standing close to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then, yelling could signal that violence was coming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, a loud voice does not automatically mean I am about to be attacked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then, I needed to stay alert to survive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, I am learning that I do not have to live every moment prepared for battle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And some days, my body still needs reminding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have also learned not to shame myself for those reactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I startle, tense up, move away, or become defensive, I try to understand what is happening instead of immediately judging myself for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My response has a history.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My body learned to protect me in an environment where protection was necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now I am teaching it something new:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You survived, got out, are safe here!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Healing from domestic violence is not always forgetting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes healing is remembering without being controlled by the memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Healing is noticing the trigger and being able to say, <em>This reminds me of what happened, but it is not happening again.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is explaining to the people who love you why certain things make you uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Healing is creating boundaries that other people may not fully understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes it is simply giving yourself grace when your body responds to an old danger in a new and safe place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I guess there are some memories and experiences that will forever shape me, but being shaped by something is not the same as being imprisoned by it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Six years ago, I drove toward the interstate with my children and whatever we could carry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was leaving behind a life of fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I didn\u2019t know then that freedom would require more than physically getting away. I\u2019d also have to learn how to feel safe again. I\u2019m still learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every time I recognize a trigger, every time I remind myself where I am, every time I choose peace over panic, and every time I allow myself to live without constantly preparing for the next attack, I reclaim another piece of the life I almost lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The trauma may be part of my story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But it does not get to write the ending.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Support Line: 1-855-BTS-1777<br>Hours: 9 a.m.\u20139 p.m. CST, 7 days a week<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)<br>Text: START to 88788<br>Online chat: The National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Iris Davis Pendleton Ptsd:the body remembers I remember it like it was yesterday. He stormed into the house and declared loudly, \u201cI\u2019m tired of this %$#!\u201d Then he rushed over, put his hands around my neck, and squeezed. I closed my eyes and prepared for the end. I\u2019m still not sure why he stopped [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":20688,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[348],"tags":[92,161,162,90,116,117,115,128],"class_list":["post-20686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-abuse","tag-break-the-silence-against-domestic-violence","tag-btsadv","tag-domestic-violence","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-physical-abuse","tag-survivor","tag-trauma"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>PTSD: When the Danger Is Gone but Your Body Still Remembers - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ptsd the body remembers, even if others don&#039;t. 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