{"id":8435,"date":"2019-02-10T19:30:23","date_gmt":"2019-02-11T02:30:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/c76.aa7.myftpupload.com\/?p=8435"},"modified":"2019-02-10T19:30:25","modified_gmt":"2019-02-11T02:30:25","slug":"survivor-story-four-years-later-i-live-with-injuries-from-my-last-assault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=8435","title":{"rendered":"Survivor Story: Four Years Later, I Live with Injuries from My Last Assault"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/c76.aa7.myftpupload.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/122918-Nia-Photo-e1549852082925.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-8436\" width=\"587\" height=\"477\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Written by: Nia, Survivor<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">August 8, 2014\n\u2013 I promised to share about this day, so I am. Right now. It seems as\ngood as any moment since over two years ago I had to get plastic surgery on my\nnose as a result of injuries I received after being assaulted on this date. So\nhere we go. It was a\nregular day as any. I was in a trigger phase, and\nI needed comfort. However, I didn&#8217;t\nreceive any; in fact, he left the house\nto engage in shenanigans. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He came back and saw me laughing at my phone, so he assumed\nthat I was fine. However, I was laughing because\nmy friend blocked my phone number thinking I was someone else. We were tweeting\nabout it. It&#8217;s crazy how this all plays out because I needed her and her phone\nnumber more than she will ever know. She was the\nclosest person to me once all of this unraveled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few days before this entire situation happened, he wasn\u2019t working and was unable to pay his cell phone bill.\nHe needed a phone because he was actively looking for a new job \u2013 &nbsp;or so\nI thought. Out of the goodness of my own heart,\nI had given him my new iPhone to use, even though I had worked so hard to get\nit myself. I used an older phone because\nhe wasn&#8217;t able to afford anything.\nI put him on my phone plan, and I was\npaying the phone bill&#8230; and I had a really bad\nfeeling in my gut as soon as I did that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I approached him because he went into another room and completely\nignored me. I had been texting him&#8230; and he wasn\u2019t answering any of them\nbecause he was mad at me for pretending to be okay while I was chatting with my\nfriend. He was in his brother&#8217;s room on the phone that I let him use,\ndoing God knows what. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I asked him if he could put the phone down for a few seconds\nso I could talk to him. He put the phone down with an attitude. I told him that\nI really needed him and that I would love to spend some time with\nhim. I was having a trigger moment. He said to me, <em>&#8220;Well you look fine because you were just smiling and laughing at your phone. You don&#8217;t need me.&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I explained to him that she was a friend from high school who\nlived 3 hours away from me, and I was trying to get ahold of her. I then said that I was laughing because she assumed\nI was someone she was trying to avoid, so\nshe blocked me. That didn&#8217;t change what I\nneeded from him, but he didn&#8217;t care. He just kept ignoring me and flipping the\nsituation back on me, saying that I was acting and faking. The entire time, he\nkept looking at the phone and texting\npeople while I was trying to talk to him. I just\ncouldn&#8217;t handle it anymore because that was something he had always done to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Other women on social media\nwere always more important. Some of these\nwomen were not at all shy about wanting to sleep with him, and their attention mattered\nmore. People trying to boost his ego were\nalways more important. So, I had enough. Given\neverything that I had seen in the past on his other phone, I knew that it was nothing good was going on. He put the phone down and looked at me. He wasn&#8217;t touching the\nphone. He had it laying next to him on the bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I told him, <em>&#8220;I\ncan&#8217;t do this anymore. I just can&#8217;t keep\nbeing disrespected anymore. I am trying to talk to you, and you don&#8217;t even care enough to put the phone down. And you&#8217;re mad at me for laughing&#8230; for five seconds&#8230; So, I&#8217;m just going to take this phone back, and I&#8217;m done.\nI can&#8217;t keep being treated like this.&#8221;<\/em>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I grabbed the phone to take it back. I did not touch him; I did not hit him, and I did not threaten him.\nAll I did was simply grab the phone to\ntake it back. It was my property, and the\naccount was in my name, so I wanted it back. I didn\u2019t deserve to be disrespected while paying for things to keep\nhis head above water. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As I grabbed the phone,\nhe grabbed me by my neck and slammed me into the bed. He slammed my face into the\nbed three times. I rolled over, and he\nwas on top of me. He then put his arm against my throat, and I started screaming for him to get off me,\nscreaming for him to stop. And he wouldn&#8217;t. I yelled at the top of my\nlungs, praying that someone would hear\nme. I started punching at him, but he still wouldn&#8217;t get off me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I got away from him, but\nI was the furthest away from the door \u2013 and it was\nclosed behind him. I told him to let me leave, and he wouldn&#8217;t. He wanted the phone back, and he was going to get it at any cost. I screamed for him to move,\nto let me leave, but he wouldn&#8217;t. He just stood there right in my way, so I\ntried to get passed him. He slammed me in the bedroom wall next to the door,\nstill fighting me to get the phone back. I can only imagine what was on it that\nhe didn&#8217;t want me to see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At this point, I was\nexhausted and still trying to figure out how I was going to get out of the\nroom. He held\nme against the wall and slammed me against it repeatedly, causing me to drop\nthe phone. I put my foot on it, so he moved me to the door and rammed his head\ninto my stomach several times. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At that point, I realized\nthere just wasn&#8217;t any reason that that phone was more important than my life. I\ntried to pick it up to give it to him, but as soon as I did, he slammed me back into the door. My head smashed back into it. I kicked it at him and told him he could have it. I got out of the room, and he\nfollowed me down the hallway because I was trying to leave the house. It was a shoving match. He pushed me, and I\npushed him back. He pushed me so hard that the side of my head smacked into the\nwall. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And as we got into the\nkitchen, I pushed him so hard that he\nfell onto the couch. I told him to stop putting his fucking hands on me. He\nstood up and balled up his fist like he was going to punch me in the face. He\ncalled me a bitch and then picked me up and threw me into the kitchen counter a\nfew times; I screamed and cried the entire time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I reached down to grab for something \u2014 anything \u2013 to defend myself.\nI felt a pot, picked it up, and hit him\nin the face with it. He\ngot pissed. He backed away from me, and\nhe asked, <em>&#8220;What the fuck is wrong\nwith you?&#8221;<\/em> I replied, <em>&#8220;I told you\nthat you were going to stop fucking putting your hands on me.&#8221;<\/em>\nI was trying to get passed him to leave the house, and as I got to open the door, he tried to stop me and was hit in the face by the\ndoor. He pushed me out of the way, got in\nhis car, and left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Growing up, my dad\nalways told me that if there is\never a situation where a man puts his\nhands on you, you should do these three things in this order: defend yourself,\ncall me, and pack your shit and leave. I\nnever thought that I would ever have to use that advice, but I did. I called my dad, and he didn&#8217;t answer. I called\nmy mom, and when she picked up, I yelled for\nher to put my dad on the phone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My dad got on the phone because he could tell something was\nwrong. <em>&#8220;He fucking put his hands on me, dad&#8230;\nhe put his hands on me. I need you to fly out here so I can drive back with you\nand we can pack my shit&#8230; I need to get out of here.&#8221;<\/em> He told me that he couldn&#8217;t fly\nout to me and that I just needed to pack what I could and leave. Mind you, my\ndad was in the Midwest, and I was on the east coast, 1400 miles away from my dad and my family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At that moment, I\nremembered I just had gotten my friend to text me back and that she was only three\nhours away. I called her twice. She sent me a\ntext saying she was in class and asked what I needed. I replied, <em>&#8220;I need your address&#8230; I am in danger,\nand I will explain everything later. I\nneed to come to you.&#8221;<\/em> Without hesitation,\nshe sent me her address, and I packed everything I could while I was still on\nthe phone with my father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My abuser\u2019s mother came to the house to ask me why her son&#8217;s face was\nbruised and why I looked perfectly fine \u2013\nwhich I didn&#8217;t. She said, &#8220;<em>You just need to learn a man&#8217;s place in this world, and that&#8217;s what that\nis going to be.&#8221;<\/em> I was completely baffled to hear this coming from a woman whose\nson had lost his front two teeth because of one of her abusive boyfriends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My dad was on the phone the entire time. He told me to\nignore her, keep packing, and get out as fast as I could. So, I did. And I got on the road to drive three hours to\nmy friend. Not one time did I cry&#8230; not one time did I do anything. I just\ndrove&#8230; and I drove for three hours with\nmy dad calling me on and off to check on me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Finally, I made it to where my friend lived, and I waited in my car for about 20 minutes\nuntil she came home. Once she got back, she brought me inside asked me what\nhappened, and I told her. I still hadn&#8217;t cried or\nbroke down yet. I was still filled\nwith adrenaline from the whole situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We went to dinner with my friend\u2019s family, and my dad spoke to her dad and thanked all of\nthem. Later, I went to sleep \u2013 or I tried \u2013 and I woke up at about 4 am to\nstart the drive back to my parents\u2019 house out west by myself. After two days, I made it back home. Some friends set aside time to stay on the\nphone with me to make sure that I made it back safely. When I wanted to cry, I called one of them. Going back to my parents was\nthe hardest thing I think I ever had to do. I struggled for a very long time, replaying all of those events in my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over the course of the next two years, I started to have some issues with my nose. I could barely\nbreathe and got as many as six or seven sinus\ninfections a year. I didn&#8217;t know what was causing them, so I finally\nwent to an ENT (ear nose and throat specialist). He looked at my nose and was\nbaffled at how badly deviated it was. The septum is supposed to be in a\nstraight line. Mine was in an upside-down U \u2013 completely\ndamaged. He said that I needed surgery and asked how this happened, wondering if I had any sports injuries, and I\nsaid no. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Then it hit me. My\nface was slammed into a mattress a few times, and\nI was also dodging elbows to the face\nwhen my ex assaulted me. I\ntold him my ex was abusive and he was taken\naback. I left the office with a surgery date and a plan to get it repaired, and I felt hurt\nfrom being reminded yet again that I had\nto deal with the fallout from the abuse. The\nsurgery was supposed to be about 45 minutes, but\nit turned into almost 2 hours. After I woke up\nfrom the anesthesia, the surgeon came out and told me that the surgery took\nlonger because the damage was far worse than\nthey expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Things just seemed to keep getting worse. Recovery was absolutely painful. I was off work for three weeks, and all I could do was finally deal\nwith it all. I was depressed, and I had\nto deal with the physical damage and trauma of being abused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once I got back home to my parents, I threw myself into working and finishing school, and I never\nemotionally dealt with anything. All of it came falling on me like a ton of\nbricks. It was heavy, and it was brutal. It fucking sucked. I\nfinally physically recovered, and I was\nstill in the process of recovering from it emotionally. I later found out that due to the trauma to my neck, the base of my\nneck was degenerating, and my spine is badly misaligned. My C3 is also damaged,\ncausing brutal headaches. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It just kept coming at me \u2014 all\nof this. And I just was forced to take\nit. I had no choice but to deal with it, and I was forced to get through it. I got the purple ribbon and\nsurvivor tattooed on my foot as a reminder every day that I survived. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No, my abuse wasn&#8217;t as bad\nas most horror stories you hear. But it\nhappened to me. Still&#8230; it happened to me a few times. I knew that at the moment\nof that assault that occurred in broad daylight on that day in August \u2013 with no\nalcohol involved \u2013 whom I was dating. And\nI needed to get out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have the tattoo to remind me that I made it and I will keep surviving\n\u2013 no matter how bad it gets. August 8, 2014,\nchanged my life in so many ways that I am still dealing with today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But I survived. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And I will keep on\nsurviving. Every. Single. Day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>**If you or someone you know is in an abusive\nrelationship, there is help. You can\nvisit the Break the Silence website at <a href=\"http:\/\/c76.aa7.myftpupload.com\">www.breakthesilencedv.org<\/a>, chat\nwith one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message\nthrough our Facebook page.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">========<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s YOUR Raw Truth?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sharing our stories can be incredibly empowering while also\nhelping others connect with survivors who have similar experiences. If you are\ninspired to share your story with us, complete the form below. You can choose\nto remain anonymous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><script>\nvar gform;gform||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.scriptsLoaded=!0}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){gform.domLoaded=!0}),gform={domLoaded:!1,scriptsLoaded:!1,themeScriptsLoaded:!1,isFormEditor:()=>\"function\"==typeof InitializeEditor,callIfLoaded:function(o){return!(!gform.domLoaded||!gform.scriptsLoaded||!gform.themeScriptsLoaded&&!gform.isFormEditor()||(gform.isFormEditor()&&console.warn(\"The use of gform.initializeOnLoaded() is deprecated in the form editor context and will be removed in Gravity Forms 3.1.\"),o(),0))},initializeOnLoaded:function(o){gform.callIfLoaded(o)||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.scriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",()=>{gform.domLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}))},hooks:{action:{},filter:{}},addAction:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"action\",o,r,e,t)},addFilter:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"filter\",o,r,e,t)},doAction:function(o){gform.doHook(\"action\",o,arguments)},applyFilters:function(o){return gform.doHook(\"filter\",o,arguments)},removeAction:function(o,r){gform.removeHook(\"action\",o,r)},removeFilter:function(o,r,e){gform.removeHook(\"filter\",o,r,e)},addHook:function(o,r,e,t,n){null==gform.hooks[o][r]&&(gform.hooks[o][r]=[]);var 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gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_4_8'>Phone<\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_phone'><input name='input_8' id='input_4_8' type='tel' value='' class='medium'    aria-invalid=\"false\"   \/><\/div><\/div><div id=\"field_4_7\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-fileupload field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_4_7'>Upload your photo, video, or story:<\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_fileupload'><input type='hidden' name='MAX_FILE_SIZE' value='0' \/><input name='input_7' id='input_4_7' type='file' class='medium' aria-describedby=\"gfield_upload_rules_4_7\" onchange='javascript:gformValidateFileSize( this, 0 );'  \/><span class='gfield_description gform_fileupload_rules' 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\/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<label for='choice_4_5_1' id='label_4_5_1' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-inline'>No<\/label>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class='gfield_description' id='gfield_description_4_5'>Please check the appropriate box to authorize BTS to share your story and photo with your first name via our website and social media channels. Should you wish not to share your story publicly, click NO and this will not be shared.<\/div><\/fieldset><fieldset id=\"field_4_11\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-checkbox gfield--type-choice field_sublabel_below gfield--has-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><legend class='gfield_label gform-field-label gfield_label_before_complex' >I wish to remain anonymous<\/legend><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_checkbox'><div class='gfield_checkbox ' id='input_4_11'><div class='gchoice gchoice_4_11_1'>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<input class='gfield-choice-input' name='input_11.1' type='checkbox'  value='Yes'  id='choice_4_11_1'   aria-describedby=\"gfield_description_4_11\"\/>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<label for='choice_4_11_1' id='label_4_11_1' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-inline'>Yes<\/label>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class='gfield_description' id='gfield_description_4_11'>If you wish to remain anonymous, please select Yes. If not, leave this section blank. <\/div><\/fieldset><fieldset id=\"field_4_16\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-consent gfield--type-choice gfield--input-type-consent gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--has-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><legend class='gfield_label gform-field-label gfield_label_before_complex' >By checking this box, you agree to BTSADV&#039;s Survivor Story photograph and publicity release form<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/legend><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_consent'><input name='input_16.1' id='input_4_16_1' type='checkbox' value='1'  aria-describedby=\"gfield_consent_description_4_16\" aria-required=\"true\" aria-invalid=\"false\"   \/> <label class=\"gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-inline gfield_consent_label\" for='input_4_16_1' >I have read and understood this consent and release form below.<\/label><input type='hidden' name='input_16.2' value='I have read and understood this consent and release form below.' class='gform_hidden' \/><input type='hidden' name='input_16.3' value='2' class='gform_hidden' \/><\/div><div class='gfield_description gfield_consent_description' id='gfield_consent_description_4_16' tabindex='0'>I acknowledge that by submitting my survivor story to Break the Silence against Domestic Violence (BTSADV), I am granting them permission to use and publish my story online without regard to where it was previously published or quoted, such as news articles, personal social media and blog accounts, blog sites run by a third party curator, etc. I agree that BTSADV has complete ownership of this story, including the entire copyright, and may use the story for any purpose consistent with BTSADV\u2019s mission.<br \/>\n<br \/>\nI also give BTSADV permission to use my name*, likeness, image, voice, story and\/or appearance as such in any pictures, photos, video recordings, audiotapes, digital images, publications, and the like, taken or made on behalf of BTSADV \u200bUNLESS\u200b I check the box \u201c\u200bI WISH TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS\u200b,\u201d on the website, in which case BTSADV only has permission to use and publish my story. 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Without the support of our community, the services and programs we provide would not be possible. Your support enables us to continue programs that are critical to those affected by abuse to rebuild their lives and thrive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"http:\/\/c76.aa7.myftpupload.com\/donate\/\">Click here to donate! <\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written by: Nia, Survivor August 8, 2014 \u2013 I promised to share about this day, so I am. Right now. It seems as good as any moment since over two years ago I had to get plastic surgery on my nose as a result of injuries I received after being assaulted on this date. 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