{"id":9063,"date":"2019-05-15T09:45:48","date_gmt":"2019-05-15T16:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/btsadv.wpengine.com\/?p=9063"},"modified":"2019-05-15T09:45:48","modified_gmt":"2019-05-15T16:45:48","slug":"helping-your-child-heal-after-domestic-violence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9063","title":{"rendered":"Helping Your Child Heal After Domestic Violence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Kids-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9064\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By Jenn Rockefeller<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the hardest things as a parent is knowing your child endured something painful. If you watched it happen, it\u2019s that much more excruciating. What if that something was domestic violence? How do you help your child heal after something like that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether your child witnessed domestic violence or experienced it first-hand, it will be a long road to helping your child heal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>The road to healing<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>As parents, we want to do what it takes to take away our child\u2019s pain. We hug them, kiss them, and tell them that they are safe. But healing from domestic violence is a tough road to tackle. Children process things much differently than adults. Many adults think that because they are not in the same room as the child, the child doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s going on. Children are very astute \u2013 they may hear things and pick up on vibes that we adults don\u2019t realize they are picking up. It is for these reasons that children need special care and tenderness when healing from trauma like domestic violence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Below are some ways you can help your child heal, whether they witnessed it or experienced it first-hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><em>Listen to them<\/em> \u2013 Above all, children want to feel like they are being heard. If they feel comfortable, let them talk it out with you. <\/li><li><em>Let them lead<\/em> \u2013 As you are sitting there listening, let them lead the conversation. Let the conversation go where it needs to. Let them ask questions, express their emotions or fears and allow them to vent how they need to.<\/li><li><em>Be together<\/em> \u2013 Sometimes, children don\u2019t want to broach the subject of what they witnessed or experienced at all. In this case, just being together with them can give them the unspoken sense of safety that they need. Sometimes, they just need to be with you. <\/li><li><em>Cultivate the things they love<\/em> \u2013 Encourage them to nourish the things they love to do, whether that is art, writing, sports or other activity. Let them build up their confidence and realize their own unique qualities. <\/li><li><em>Friendships <\/em>\u2013 Having friends is vital to a child\u2019s growth. During a time of stress or trauma, those friendships can bring a sense of normalcy and safety. Encourage your child to nourish their friendships. Let them talk about their friends and spend time with them.<\/li><li><em>Be honest<\/em> \u2013 If your children ask you any questions, be honest with them. Answer them on an age-appropriate level. This will help the child build trust and will let them know that they can come to you any time they need to talk.<\/li><li><em>Validate <\/em>\u2013 Children need to know that their feelings and emotions count and that they matter. Let them know that it\u2019s okay to feel angry, scared, etc. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>What else can parents do?<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>Aside from the above, you\u2019ll also want to ensure your child is receiving additional support via the way of therapy. You can check the following resources to find a child therapist in your area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/therapists\/child-or-adolescent\">Child or Adolescent Therapist Finder<\/a> \u2013 a search provided by Psychology Today<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/locator.apa.org\/\">Psychologist Locator<\/a> \u2013 a service provided by the American Psychological Association<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.teencounseling.com\/parent_start\/\">Teen Counseling<\/a> \u2013 an online search to locate services for your teen<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/find-child-therapists-counselors.html\">Find a Child Therapist<\/a> \u2013 a service provided by Good Therapy<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>How to help them process<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>Children process things differently than adults. By their very nature, children can be very inquisitive. They may ask questions. They may sit and ponder a situation to sort it out in their minds. They may want to write it out in a diary or journal. Encourage them to sort things out the way they need to in order to understand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>How to teach about healthy relationships<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>The best way to teach your child about healthy relationships is to model healthy behaviors when you are with them. They need to see these healthy behaviors modeled for them daily. This <a href=\"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/how-to-model-healthy-relationships-for-your-children\/\">past BTSADV article<\/a> explains how modeling healthy behaviors for children is vital to them learning what healthy relationships look like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org or chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777.<\/em><br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Jenn Rockefeller One of the hardest things as a parent is knowing your child endured something painful. If you watched it happen, it\u2019s that much more excruciating. What if that something was domestic violence? How do you help your child heal after something like that? Whether your child witnessed domestic violence or experienced it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9064,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[348],"tags":[92,125,90,75,41,141,33,115,77,119],"class_list":["post-9063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-abuse","tag-children","tag-domestic-violence","tag-healing","tag-kids-and-dv","tag-parents","tag-single-parenting","tag-survivor","tag-survivor-moms","tag-survivors"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Helping Your Child Heal After Domestic Violence - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9063\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Helping Your Child Heal After Domestic Violence - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Jenn Rockefeller One of the hardest things as a parent is knowing your child endured something painful. 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