{"id":9784,"date":"2019-07-01T07:00:04","date_gmt":"2019-07-01T14:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/btsadv.wpengine.com\/?p=9278"},"modified":"2019-07-01T07:00:04","modified_gmt":"2019-07-01T14:00:04","slug":"she-was-the-glue-that-held-our-family-together-an-angel-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9784","title":{"rendered":"She Was the Glue that Held Our Family Together: An Angel Story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"\"<\/a>By Emilie Trepanier<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe most dangerous time is when you leave. But I don\u2019t think normal people know that,\u201d said Marisol (Mari) Crespo, sister of domestic violence angel Iveliss Alvarado.<\/span><\/p>\n

Domestic violence can affect anyone.\u00a0 Mari\u2019s little sister, a mother of two and the glue that held the family together, was murdered at the hands of her husband in a horrific manner.<\/span><\/p>\n

Iveliss was the youngest of four siblings. Mari said Iveliss was the one who\u2019d plan family events, and a huge reason the family saw each other. \u201cNow it\u2019s like everything\u2019s gone,\u201d Mari said, adding that the family doesn\u2019t get together the way they used to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mari said Iveliss loved Mari\u2019s kids; whenever they needed anything, or when Mari needed emotional support, Iveliss would tell Mari\u2019s daughter that she has the ability to get herself out of hard situations and told Mari\u2019s son that he can stand his own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mari said when Iveliss began dating her abuser, she was secretive about it. From what Mari heard, Iveliss and her abuser knew each other from high school and were on and off for a few years. She said after he got out of prison and flew to their state, Iveliss was the one to pick him up from the airport. She thinks they connected on social media. Over time, the family heard snippets of his lifestyle as a drug dealer and ex-con.<\/span><\/p>\n

One day while Mari\u2019s husband was at work at the sheriff\u2019s station, he found out from a few co-workers that police were contacted the previous night for a call concerning Iveliss. Iveliss and her boyfriend had been in a heated fight that ended in his arrest, but Iveliss promised everything was okay and that she was fine. Three days later, she and her boyfriend were married, and he took her out of state, leaving her children behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe used to do everything for her girls,\u201d Mari said. She thought maybe Iveliss was choosing to settle down and find a place to live first and would bring her daughters later. In hindsight, Mari wonders if her sister never intended to do this. \u201cI think he must have had her scared about the girls.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mari remembers one time when one of Iveliss\u2019s daughters asked to call her abuser \u201cdaddy,\u201d since he and her mother were married. He told her to just call him by his first name. Mari thought, \u201cif a man is not willing to be a parent, why would you want to be with him?\u201d She said Iveliss was isolated after the marriage, to the point that Mari didn\u2019t even know she had moved out of state with her abuser.<\/span><\/p>\n

After a while, Iveliss decided to separate from her husband. She ended the relationship and moved in with her cousin \u2013 whom Mari said was male and gay–but this was another thing that drove her abuser into a jealous rage, sending her several texts. Mari said Iveliss feared for her safety, but even though he told Iveliss he was going to kill her, she didn\u2019t believe he would ever actually do it. She said Iveliss felt he was always watching her.<\/span><\/p>\n

In an attempt to get her abuser off her case, Iveliss moved in with a female cousin. She invited Mari\u2019s 17-year-old daughter to visit her, to which Mari obliged. That weekend, on May 27, <\/span>\u00a0<\/span>2017, he found Iveliss at a family event and murdered her in front of her cousin and Mari\u2019s daughter. When Iveliss\u2019s mother came running out of the house, he approached her and said, \u201cI killed her.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMy thing is that people think that [it] can\u2019t happen to people unless you live that kinda lifestyle\u2026 like the lifestyle [her abuser ] had\u2026 they think that it can\u2019t happen to them,\u201d Mari said, saying domestic violence can happen to anybody. She said people consistently ask \u201cBut why didn\u2019t she leave him?\u201d and they can\u2019t seem to get that question out of their head. \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s as easy as they put it,\u201d Mari said, \u201c\u2026okay so you\u2019re blaming the victim\u2026 why aren\u2019t you asking why he did what he did? He\u2019s the bad person.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mari said girls should be aware at a young age of various behaviors and red flags that tell you a person is no good. She said when leaving an abuser, you need to be careful and not just leave. She said, \u201cleave carefully and protect yourself.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As an officer, Mari\u2019s husband is involved with an organization called The Thin Blue Line<\/span>, which supports families of officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty.<\/span> As a co-worker of officers, he\u2019s considered a survivor.<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish there was something like that for us. It\u2019s been two years and I\u2019m not getting over it\u2026 not that you ever really get over it, but I\u2019m every single day <\/span>[sic] <\/span><\/i>crying and playing it over in my head,\u201d Mari said. Around the same time as Iveliss\u2019s death, Mari was experiencing other deaths in the family as well \u2013 an in-law, and a brother.<\/span><\/p>\n

She found Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence through social media, where she also found information about the <\/span>Legacy Families Retreat<\/span><\/a> and the <\/span>Angel Fund<\/span><\/a>. She thought \u201cmaybe I should get involved and do this.\u201d She and her daughter who witnessed Iveliss\u2019s murder plan on attending the retreat.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cShe was the best sister,\u201d Mari said Iveliss was the only one who looked after the family the way she did. \u201cShe was awesome, and she didn\u2019t deserve what she got.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

You can participate in the Angel Fund no matter where you live by donating to Iveliss\u2019s scholarship. Your active presence from July 1 to 22 could make a huge difference in the life of a survivor. You can find Iveliss\u2019s scholarship page <\/span>here <\/span><\/a>or text \u201cAngel2215\u201d to 71777.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":9305,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[348],"tags":[92,235,88,127,13,162,90,30,117,31],"class_list":["post-9784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-abuse","tag-angel-fund","tag-angel-scholarships","tag-angels","tag-bts-program","tag-btsadv","tag-domestic-violence","tag-forever-bts","tag-physical-abuse","tag-stand-with-bts"],"yoast_head":"\nShe Was the Glue that Held Our Family Together: An Angel Story - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9784\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"She Was the Glue that Held Our Family Together: An Angel Story - 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