{"id":9908,"date":"2019-10-22T19:00:28","date_gmt":"2019-10-23T02:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/btsadv.wpengine.com\/?p=9908"},"modified":"2019-10-22T19:00:37","modified_gmt":"2019-10-23T02:00:37","slug":"helping-others-find-their-strength","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9908","title":{"rendered":"Helping Others Find Their Strength"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\"\"<\/a>By Emilie Trepanier<\/span><\/p>\n

Disclaimer: No survivor should ever feel the pressure to open up and attempt to heal others during or after their healing process. How you handle your trauma is your business. The intentions of this article are to uplift those survivors who are already motivated to help others.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

When I decided to share my trauma publically, I was terrified of the backlash. Instead, after I finally hit publish on the article that would be shared on my university\u2019s online magazine, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I stopped thinking about what people could say to hurt me. A heavy secret I\u2019d bore for two years was no longer mine; I set it free and was left feeling lighter.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was lucky that I didn\u2019t receive much backlash for sharing my story. However, what minimal negative response I did receive has meant nothing compared to the survivors who have reached out to me thanking me for helping them feel less alone, and asking for help.<\/span><\/p>\n

The first step I made as a survivor in order to help other survivors, was to heal myself. Therapy, journaling, hanging on to people I could trust. If I hadn\u2019t taken that step, I would not have the space in my mind or heart to lend a hand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Being open and honest about my experience is what I did next, and continue to do. This helps other survivors know they can talk to me when they need someone to turn to. Because I already took the necessary steps to heal on my own, I\u2019m seldom triggered by these guidance-seeking conversations. Sometimes survivors just need to hear that they aren\u2019t crazy. They need to be believed. Believing survivors is the biggest way to help them, not just initially, but always.<\/span><\/p>\n

For a while, I thought it was my duty to change the mind of those hurting the movement. We live in a world full of victim-blaming and shaming. Even those close to us can be misguided. I\u2019ve had relatives share videos with me, saying that my traumas happened to me because I wasn\u2019t strong enough to say \u201cno.\u201d I\u2019ve had relatives tell me I need to learn how to stand up for myself better. I\u2019ve had relatives say they are worried about the witch hunt on men, and that most women are lying about their experiences. These relatives are good people, with good intentions and good hearts. But they do real damage. Having those you love not in your corner lengthens the trauma and can make you feel like you\u2019re crazy. This is why survivors must be united in ending domestic violence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I\u2019ve found myself ready to get out of uncomfortable conversations \u2014 although this is <\/span>never<\/span><\/i> a victim\u2019s job \u2014 the best thing I\u2019ve communicated has been, \u201cHey, this topic triggers me. Let\u2019s move on.\u201d I stopped trying to change the mind of people who haven\u2019t gone through what I\u2019ve experienced or who aren\u2019t united in the cause when I realize I\u2019m more important. Every past, present and current survivor is more important. Reshifting my energies solely to help survivors has been detrimental to not only my personal healing, but also in my ability to help others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

An easy way to give hope to survivors is liking their comments on social media threads, or direct messaging them that you believe them. These actions don\u2019t trigger me or my social anxiety. A simple \u201clike\u201d is so validating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I get involved in not only the conversation but the movement. There are countless organizations people can join in order to help survivors in more ways. I found <\/span>Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence <\/span><\/i>on <\/span>Volunteer Match<\/span><\/a>. If you\u2019re interested in volunteering with <\/span>BTSADV<\/span><\/i>, you can check out our available positions <\/span>here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are all kinds of volunteer positions out there. You don\u2019t have to table, or visit with survivors, or speak at publicity events. Volunteering for a cause you\u2019re passionate about can be as simple as designing a poster for an organization.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Charity is good for the soul. It\u2019s a night and day difference regarding my emotions now that I\u2019m volunteering with <\/span>BTSADV<\/span><\/i>. Not only is it educational and empowering, but service has pushed the bitterness out of my heart and proved my strength to myself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I go through my darkest times, feeling alone and fragile, the best things for me are just to be told I matter. Someone\u2019s horrifying actions do not define <\/span>me<\/span><\/i>. Being told I am believed, and that other survivors are believed, empowers me to remember grieving is always okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So, whoever is reading this: You matter. I believe you. You are more than what happened to you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org or chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[348],"tags":[21,90,103,42,75,180,143,72,115,93],"class_list":["post-9908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-after-abuse","tag-domestic-violence","tag-empowered-women","tag-empowerment","tag-healing","tag-rape","tag-sexual-abuse","tag-sexual-assault","tag-survivor","tag-volunteer"],"yoast_head":"\nHelping Others Find Their Strength - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/breakthesilencedv.org\/?p=9908\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Helping Others Find Their Strength - 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