Survivor Story: Life and Love After Domestic Violence



Written by: Pam, Survivor

I started dating my current husband several months after my ex-husband/abuser left. I was in the middle of the divorce and raising my children as a single mother. Dating was the last thing on my mind. In fact, I had basically sworn off men and built a wall around my heart. I would never let another man hurt me again. I had met him on occasion through family and thought he was a nice guy, but I had no intention of getting into another relationship.

Well, guess what? With God’s help, he slowly broke down that wall around my heart. In the beginning, we talked on the phone a lot. Eventually, I said yes to that first date. We fell in love, true love. Right from the beginning, he loved my children and raised them as his own. We have been married for over 25 years now, and we have a wonderful life together that is filled with love, joy, respect, and trust.

There were many adjustments at the beginning, times of learning and growth for both of us. This was especially true for myself, as I had come from an abusive past that was 13 years long. I kept thinking this is too good to be true, and I had a hard time letting go, totally trusting him, and being myself. I didn’t know how to have a normal disagreement without the fear of being attacked verbally and physically.

He loves me without hesitation. He was by my side through the healing process after those years of domestic violence I experienced. We learned, loved and grew together. 

He respects me and encourages me. He supports me. I can always be myself without a negative response. We appreciate each other and do not take each other for granted. There is laughter, comfort, support, our shared love for God, and our love for each other. We are partners in this life.

Please know that there is a new life after abuse.

There is always hope, joy, love, comfort, and peace.

I know because I found it, and I am thankful.

**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org, chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message through our Facebook page.


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