Survivors of domestic violence can face several legal issues that can come from, or are
affected by, the actions of our abusers. Obtaining protection orders, filing for divorce,
motioning for full custody, and filing for child support are just a few of the legal hurdles
that most domestic violence victims find themselves facing. The steps before any legal
hurdles are just as important and will resonate throughout a process such as divorce
and restraining orders. During a Q&A with an anonymous 911 dispatcher in the state of
Oregon, she argued that before victims leave the abusive relationship, they often refuse
help from police officers. As most of us are aware, victims will tend to want to help the
abuser during the victim-blaming stage and/or hoovering stage of the abuse cycle. We
call the police for help, the abuser then may go to jail, and the police place us in a
position to decide if it’s us—or the abuser. This can trigger our flight or fight responses.
What most people who don’t work in a 911 dispatch center don’t know, is that people
can call 911 or the local non-emergency number and request that the incident be
documented and also request there be NO POLICE RESPONSE. This means that a
police officer will then get the information on their mobile Computer Aided Dispatch
system (CAD), and close the call out without ever making contact with the victim and
risking their safety. All of those calls are public records. This can allow a victim to safely
report the abuse without being discovered by their abuser. It’s important to note for any
victims reading this article that they call 911 or the non-emergency number on a
separate cell phone so as to not tip off the abuser. Those call notes will be available for up
to ten years for the victim to later collect if they’re ever needed. Victims should keep
track of the address at which the call was reported because it will be needed when they
go to collect that information. One of the first questions asked of victims during
restraining order hearings is whether or not they called for police. This is crucial in
winning the restraining order. If no police have been called, judges will not feel inclined
to approve the RO especially if there are children involved. Following the restraining
order hearing, there will be a custody hearing to determine how any children involved
should be shared among the parents. This is where another crucial, yet under-utilized,
step comes into play. Victims need to get the local Department of Human Services
involved. DHS will offer family counseling, medical help, therapy, and other resources.
All of this documentation can provide victims with a strong case to fight for full custody
of the children or press charges in the event of any injuries. DHS is an entity outside
the legal system. They typically will not punish victims of domestic violence rather,
they protect the victim and their children with ample resources and endless funding. Dispatch
centers can also connect victims with DHS if needed but victims can find their local DHS
reporting link and report their children as victims of domestic violence. The social
worker will typically come to the home and investigate the area. It’s crucial for victims to
not clean, and leave everything as is. The DHS worker will appreciate visualizing the
damage to the walls, broken toys, lack of food, and other signs of domestic violence. If
one parent is reporting the abuse, the social workers will tend to keep children in the
home with the victim and advocate on the victim’s behalf in a courtroom. This means
that it’s not just the victim “squaring off” with a judge and being victimized all over again.
It means that there are also state social workers explaining to the judge that you have
been abused and that keeping the children with the abusive parent can risk further
health issues to the children. When we think of filing for divorce, we can get
overwhelmed. Try to limit the thoughts to our very next step. Such as calling the non-
emergency line for a “no-response report” and then submitting an online report to the
DHS office near you to get your support system organized. by Mikayla
