I’d like to share my story with everyone.
Let me start off here, my name is Erikah, I’m 28 years old and domestic violence ultimately ruined the rest of my life. And it all started when I met my children’s father in February 2006 when I was 15 years old. A couple of months before we met, I was raped at my “best friends” house. I closed off from everyone until I met my kid’s dad. We were together maybe 6 months the first time he slapped me in the face. Well, I left and went home. But sob I’m sorry it won’t happen again blah blah… He wasn’t physical with me for a while in, but physiological abuse was there. Fast forward to November 2007 I turned 17 and moved out of my parents and we got an apartment. This is when it really started. From then on, I had multiple black eyes, he head butted me in the face and it broke the skin on the bridge of my nose. he literally kicked the shit out of me in his stepdad front yard in the middle of winter in Michigan.
Let me tell you, this guy is a psycho! So, couple years go by, every form of abuse he was present. Whipping steel toe boots at me, smashing everything that I valued. The verbal abuse was incredible! Well forward to 2009. I got pregnant with our first son. At one point I was sitting on the couch, and he was whipping DVDs at me like frisbees… Another time (still pregnant) I. Trying to carry a tote of laundry inside, and he kicks this fucking tote, where? My stomach. I couldn’t believe it. Fast forward to July 2010 LJ is 2 months old. The only time he ever went to jail, he’s out of control shooting me with an air soft gun, throwing shit at me, destroying ten houses. Well, I tried to get away because he’s a nut job. We lived in a trailer park, and I had a friend 3 trailers down. Well, he’s coming after me, and when he gets to me, the Cole cocks me right in my left jaw chin area and someone seen him do it. Called him in. Out the next day, court ordered protection thing automatically. I’m 19, 2-month-old baby I’m freaking out. Well dumb ass me let’s him come back. Forward a couple of years for the best of the story.
We moved to Alaska March 2013 and our 2nd not April 30th. Mental and emotional and financial abuse to the max. 2016 we buy a house… Well from May 2016 to December 2016 he pulled a gun on me 6 times, almost stabbed me in the stomach in our driveway, tried to put a rope around my throat and was gonna yank me out of the truck I was sitting in. Final straw, it’s December of 2016, cold as shit in Alaska. He tells me to get out of his house, pulls a gun on me. I walked outside and *BANG* he fires a shot. I was done I couldn’t take it anymore. Found somewhere to stay. Because my family is giving no shits about me. I had to leave the kids with him. No other choice. He never hurt the kids, ever. Well, I guess he started using meth, and freaks out, thinking people are trying to get him…and he come the best part. He takes our 4 and 7 at the time and runs off in the woods and they fuckin disappear for 3 fucking days. in the middle of May. OCS takes custody of them, and they go to stay at my parents. Their dad has already turned my parents on me.
Well, he moved back to Michigan, and I had to move back in our house. January thru May of last year I was stranded 20 miles from town. No friends, no family. never got any notification of any of the court proceedings for the fight to get my kids back. My parents are telling OCS they will pick me up for visiting the kids…. NOT ONE TIME did they ever pick me up. To shorten the story, they terminated my rights to the kids. Because I had absolutely no support system, and they said I willingly didn’t go to see my kids… This was All last year. Now here we are I’m still living in the house we started buying, there hasn’t been any payment made since April of 2017. No electricity, no water, ok plastic for my upstairs windows because dumbass broke them out… Can’t find a job because I can’t keep my cell phone service paid… No money. for ten last 17 months I have survived off of going to the local transfer site (or dump) for everything I needed, including all my food. It’s not as bad as it sounds. A dumpster diving is a huge thing here. But it’s now been 23 MONTHS since my parents got my kids, AND I’ve been allowed to see my babies 2 times. My oldest just turned 9 today (the 9th) and my youngest turns 6 on the 30th… Since I’ve been exiled from my family I’ve missed/ get to miss last year and this year’s birthdays. Because my mom has some Lifelong hate for me. And what the dad doing? He’s with some new chick with 2 kids, while I can’t even talk to my kids. my will to live and, purpose to my life gone…
People NEVER CHANGE. I don’t care what anyone (abusers) say. They are all worthless nothing’s. I’ve had depression since I first had my oldest… Like to the max! Most days I don’t even get out if bed… I find myself crying at least 7-10 times a day… I’m so lost in this shit life I’m forced to live… I really don’t even know what to do anymore… I can’t say don’t ever go back to your abuser because I did for 11 years. But my suggestion to everyone, don’t take this kind of shit… If I wouldn’t have left that December, I can almost guarantee that I would not be alive to type this half assed story. and ladies keep a close eye on your teenage daughter’s relationship with boyfriends. Because there could be abuse and you might not even know it. My parents didn’t know anything. Until I tried to tell them last year, but my Ex already made me look like the bad person for leaving. Blamed my leaving on drugs which are so far from the truth. since drugs cost money which k never had any of.
**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org, chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message through our Facebook page.
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