5 Things Survivors Wish They Could Share with CPS Workers

By Rebecca Lynn

Child Protective Service (CPS) workers have a crucial and daunting job: to protect children from abuse and neglect. According to Social Work Degree Center, CPS was created on the belief that each child should grow up in a safe and permanent home. Child Welfare organizations receive upwards of 2.5 million calls a year regarding possible child maltreatment. It is no surprise that CPS workers are overworked, emotionally drained, and have limited outside resources. In addition, the obstacles they face with the families they investigate are numerous and unique. CPS workers are commonly seen as impersonal, threatening, accusing, and ultimately there to take children away from their parents. But CPS workers are not the only ones that are challenged by stereotypes; domestic violence victims are often misunderstood, fearful of authority, and have had past experiences that leave them feeling distrustful that CPS has good intention. 

There is no better way to make others question stereotypes than by speaking out and sharing stories. In order to make an informed decision about a specific group, a person must have all the available information. Below are five things survivors wish they could share with CPS workers. 

Victims are Terrified of Child Welfare Workers

When CPS knocks on the door of a family that has been referred for investigation due to possible domestic violence, both parties experience their own trepidations. For a domestic violence victim, allowing a stranger the door into a life that commonly is kept private can be terrifying. Besides the pre-assumed judgments that victims believe regarding CPS workers, they also face the all too common threats engraved in their minds by their abusers. Children are frequently used to further manipulate and control a victim by threatening that they will lose their children, either by CPS removal or by the abuser themselves. 

Victims feel a substantial amount of emotions, especially when it comes to the safety and best interest of their children. They may feel as if the abuse is their fault, that a two-parent home is best, or that if they were to leave they would not have a place to go. Victims also worry about lack of finances, support, and may be fearful of retaliation from the abuser. Victims may come across as defensive, uncooperative, and emotional when a CPS worker questions them. Many victims of domestic abuse are commonly seen as responsible for the primary care and nurturing of the kids, based on traditional gender expectation. The victims, regardless of the abuse, are often labeled as perpetrators themselves due to a “failure to protect” their children from witnessing abuse. It is for this reason that victims often lie, defend the abuser, downplay the violence, and agree to unsafe demands by the workers so that they do not lose their children. 

Victims Often Experience Re-Victimization

Domestic violence is a complex concept to understand. Those who have not been impacted by it themselves, or have had extensive training on the specific dynamics of an abusive relationship, often have difficulty empathizing with a victim. Victims tend to find out early on that those they believed were there to help them only leave them feeling blamed, helpless, and unable to open up and ask for help. CPS tends to question why they stayed or why they didn’t keep their children safe, further placing blame on the abused instead of the abuser. Victims often are held as responsible as the abuser and have even faced charges for not protecting their children, stripped of their parental rights, or in the end, losing custody to the abuser. The victim is re-victimized over and over again. 

Safety Plans Can Be Unattainable

One tool that a Child Welfare worker uses is a safety plan. According to Child and Family Services Review, a safety plan is a written agreement between CPS and the family that outlines the safety services that are  required to be completed before the case is closed, and the home is deemed safe. Safety plans have good intentions but in an abusive relationship, a safety plan can cause more harm than good. Each caseworker, case, and outcome is different, especially when domestic violence is present, making it impossible for a cookie-cutter safety plan to be appropriate for abusers and victims. 

In order for a safety plan to be completed, it must be followed by both people. Often the abuser is not cooperative in following the plan, inconsistently uses required services, or does not complete necessary courses or counseling. The outcome of the case depends on the success of the couple, linking the victim with the abuser as equals. A victim is not capable of controlling someone who manipulates and hurts them, often causing the victim to be unable to complete the plan, and at times breaking the plan due to the abuser’s refusal to follow it. 

Safety Isn’t One Size Fits All

A safety plan is meant to keep those involved safe, yet many safety plans put in place by CPS actually put the victim in more danger. One of the most common requirements for a couple investigated for violence is to attend couples counseling. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline couples, counseling is successful when both partners are willing to take responsibility for their actions and commit to making a change to their behavior. This is not the case when abuse is present. Abusers want to maintain control of the victim and often use counseling as a way to minimize the victim, act as the victim themselves, and win over the therapist to their side. Domestic violence is not a relationship problem and the counselor can unintentionally escalate the abuse and re-victimize the victim without the accurate information needed to counsel them. 

In many cases, the CPS safety plan expectations require the abuser or victim to leave the family home, file a protective order, or have no contact with each other while the child is present without supervision. Leaving seems like a logical solution for most; however, according to the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness there is a 75 percent increase in violence and 75 percent of intimate partner fatalities occur after the relationship has ended. In addition, victims face the possibility of homelessness due to a lack of finances, support, and resources. 

Systems Enable Abusers

The abuser and the victim have two very different experiences when working with CPS and other professionals that interact with domestic violence. It is not uncommon for the abuser to become enabled and empowered to continue and possibly increase the abuse by the very people whose intention was to help. Abusers are able to manipulate the system, play the victim, and put the blame on the true victim. Each time that a victim defends the abuser, accepts blame, and puts themselves in more harm to meet safety plan requirements, they are validating the control that their abuser has over them. In fact, by the end of a CPS case, the abuser frequently has gained more control over the victim, leaving them more helpless, isolated and untrusting of those capable of helping. 

A child welfare worker’s job is anything but easy, yet is imperative to the protection and safety of millions of children. Those who become CPS workers often do so out of a strong desire to help others, make a difference, and effectively perform their duties. However, due to lack of available training, questionable policies, an overlap between the victim and the child’s safety, and the limited ability to step outside of the cookie-cutter process, CPS workers are often not able to make informed and effective decisions. Only when processes change, the realities of domestic violence are addressed, and customized plans for abusive relationships are created will CPS be able to reach their goal of creating safe environments for children impacted by domestic violence. 

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org or chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777.

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