“Life doesn’t come with a manual; it comes with a mother.”
Unknown
Mother’s Day becomes a tough occasion to celebrate if you are someone who has recently moved out of an abusive relationship. Yet, it doesn’t have to be a day where you experience grieving, sadness, nor loneliness. Rather, it should be a day to celebrate your strength, your courage, and your grace. A day to celebrate your fortitude in providing the best life possible for your kids and yourself.
There are many ways in which you could celebrate and, in doing so, find both peace & understanding within yourself.
1 – Establish Boundaries
It’s an accentuated aspect of living an authentic life… You can establish your boundaries so that no one may ever again mistreat nor disrespect you, as your ex-partner did. Explore what healthy boundaries look like to you. This will help you get to know who you are; what you expect out of your life; and how your children may be raised in the best possible manner.
2 – Celebrate the Divine
When you become a mother, you become like a goddess in the eyes of God. It’s a divine responsibility to bring a life into this world and enrich it with so much care, affection, & courage. Honour yourself and celebrate this day in your own unique way— this may mean something as simple as writing love letters to your children to let them know what they mean to you.
3 – Honour Yourself and Your Feelings
While enduring the abuse in a long-term relationship can break your spirit, it can also teach you how to honour your feelings. Honour yourself by acknowledging the abuse, writing about the abuse, recognize & give compassion to the parts of you that feel damaged, take time to honour what you are most grateful for, and most importantly how you will be leaving the abuse patterns behind and building a life where no other human being will take decisions for you except you.
4 – Nurture Your Future
Ending an abusive relationship doesn’t mean the end of your life. Build a routine which nurtures the life you have ahead of you, and allow yourself to take short breaks whenever needed. There is no hurry in planning your life but do indulge in activities that you have missed out on pursuing while being with an abusive partner. It’s your time to shine on, to build & nurture relationships that bring life to you and your children.
5 – Put Yourself As Your First Priority
Did you forget to take care of yourself while living with an abusive partner? It becomes difficult to process the abuse and take actions that serve your best interests. So, it’s time to prioritize yourself and put yourself in the first place. Nobody else is going to do that for you. You can rebuild your life from scratch, owning that the best parts could be built on your own terms & choices.
6 – Reflecting on Your Personal Growth
Abusive relationships usually snatch away your sanity and a will to live a good life. Now, though, you don’t have to think about the days when you only suffered. Rather, think about the days when you started passing those hurdles and made good positive strides in your life. What steps did you take to overcome your fears and raise your children on your own? Reflect on your positive and strong aspects of life. Then, chart a plan for your future personal growth.
You can do so by contacting self-help groups, domestic violence support professionals, joining activities with people who have been through the same pattern of abuse, and healing support groups, too.
To sum this up, your life starts for real when you end an abusive relationship. Please never let yourself down thinking about the abuse. Instead, remember you did everything in your power to end it which, in turn, led you to a renewed phase of finding yourself.
