I was 15 when she started dating a neighborhood boy. When I was 16, he pulled her hair for talking to a male friend, and then he beat up the friend. Normal jealousy, she thought at the time. They continued to date. A few years later, she got pregnant and moved in with him. Four days into living together, he punched her for the first time.
I didn’t know what abuse was, and didn’t have a name for what I was going through. My boyfriend controlled what I ate, saying “I don’t want a fat girlfriend.” I constantly had bruises and black eyes. When he hit me, he would blame me: “Look what you made me do.” He called me stupid and ugly, told that no one else would want her if she left him. When he was angry, he would throw their kitten against the wall, saying, “I had to do that so I wouldn’t hit you.”
I felt utterly trapped and alone. My boyfriend had convinced me that I didn’t need any other friends but him.
I left him the first time after giving birth to our son. My boyfriend called and called after the birth, and successfully convinced me to come back to him. Then he hit our infant son, I then left for a second time, this time for good.
At a local DV center I learned how to feel better about my self, and got the courage to stay away and take him to court. I was able to have my boyfriend sign away his rights and I raided my son all on my own.
Today, I am an Account Manager for a Center City janitorial company, I volunteer with victims of domestic abuse and speak out against domestic violence. All my children know my story. I raised my four children as a single mom, while getting my college degree in night school.
“30 years later I have my strength. When I speak out and tell my story, I know that I make a difference.”
