My Story – Shaz A

Its been a many years since i escaped death and never had to face him until today His mum had passed. my daughters, although not children anymore needed their mum beside them as a family with my partner who helped raise them we went along to pay our respects, not that i had much left for her but she was a woman who also had a rough ride. I felt sick my stomache hurt my head was so full of emotions old emotions resurfacing i counted over 1000 a thousand times as i had to face him the man that killed me
over and over and over again and relive it all inside my head. I looked arround franticaly trying to spot him i wanted to look him in the eye and finally face all my fears, lay to reat all of my anxieties an opportunity to let go move on no more triggers. I wasnt scared at all as i saw him for the pathetic weak being that he is. I am strog now ! But the scars the triggers the trauma turmoil the pain all came flooding back like a tsunami creating garnage death damage irreparable i screamed internally while smiling and confident on the outside showing strength and happines showing him nothing of the pain he had caused me and my children. No body knows just how difficult that was and that i have spent everyday since that day trying to re repair all the hard work i had done i spent 16 days sick in bed my body and mind a wreck i now know that although i am free and safe from him i will always suffer with the trauma he inflicted upon me i will never be free.