By Anonymous Survivor
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse and the charms of a bully. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
He Would Tell Me I Was Nothing
When I was married to him, he would trap me in rooms and he would repeatedly tell me how awful I was. That I had no friends, no family, and I was a nobody without him. I was terrified to the point where I lost all feeling in my body and I would crumple to the floor in tears, begging him to let me out of the room.
But then I was in the hospital for 11 days with blood clots on my lungs, and I was living with him at the time. I was also on crutches and couldn’t walk because I had knee surgery (which caused the blood clots). As soon as we got home from the hospital, he started arguing with me and he wanted to kick me out of his place.
It was very late at night and I kept asking him to stop and to let me rest, but he wouldn’t stop harassing me.
After Our Daughter
After my daughter was born, we moved from California to Florida. That was a mistake because now I realize that he was isolating me from my family and friends. We filed for divorce six months after we moved to Florida.
I wasn’t working at the time since I was taking care of our baby daughter. I didn’t know anyone in Florida. He threatened to take the car away and kick me out of the condo. I couldn’t rent a place because every place required proof of income, and I wasn’t working at the time. But I was alone and scared with a baby. I went to the police station to talk to a police officer to get advice.
He Still Bullies and Harasses Me
Even after our divorce, he still is a bully. And harasses me constantly. Co-parenting has been extremely difficult. He sent a letter from his attorney to my workplace, accusing me of things that I didn’t do. Accusing me of leaving my daughter unattended.
I’m a hard working single mom, I’ve never gotten a babysitter, and I don’t drink alcohol. I’ve never done any drugs. I’m very focused on work and taking care of my daughter.
In May 2022, I was having a difficult time because I was going through cancer treatments and I had a lot of side effects. On Mother’s Day weekend, it was my custodial weekend and he wouldn’t let my daughter come with me. Worse than a bully.
I found myself at the local police station at midnight on Mother’s Day filing a police report since he wasn’t abiding by the custody schedule. Not to mention that weekend he was also harassing my 86-year old father that just had heart surgery.
Once a Bully, Always a Bully
The list goes on and on. The bullying and abuse are terrible, and healing can take a long time, especially if you have to coparent with someone like him. Once I feel like I’m starting to heal, the bully starts again.
I believe in the Break the Silence organization because even if there aren’t any physical wounds BELIEVE her.
And ENCOURAGE her to reach out for help because it can be very hard to leave an abusive relationship.
I also believe in Break the Silence because even writing this is healing, to get it off my chest.
Check These Resources:
- Complete Guide to Mindful Meditation, and Emotional Healing.
- The Hidden Impact of Teen Dating Violence
- Find Support with BTSADV
Support Line
Other Resources and Information:
