Amanda Aaltonen

Hi there, My name is Amanda. When I was 27 I met a man that I was set up with by a friend that she knew from high school. He seemed sweet and nice and so I thought I would give it a go. So we went for a date. Halfway through we went out to his parents cabin at Christina Lake. When he got out of my car he slammed the door so hard, he jammed it closed so I had gotten mad at him and asked him to please not slam my door in a raised voice. He then yelled at me and called me a fucking psycho. I was taken aback at first. Chalked it up to being nerves.

We continued the date. I spent the night and then the next morning got dressed, dropped the guy off at his parents place as that was where he was living at the time and proceeded to drive home. By time time I had gotten back to Kelowna, I had time to have a nap, then my phone rang around 430pm. The guy stated he didn’t want to date me and he dumped me. 5 days later he came back begging me to take him back. So I did.

And the abuse started. Little things at first. Lots of name calling and fights before and after intimacy. Threats of leaving, comparing me to people, jealousy, and flat of narcissistic behaviour thay I didn’t see at the time. I got pregnant 2 years later and it just got worse. Yelling, swearing walking on literal egg shells and never knowing what version on guy I was going to get. By the time we bought a house together I was a fraction of myself, barely surviving, no longer in love with the man called my husband, but surviving for my daughter. She is my reason.

A year and a bit after buying his house, the straw broke the camels back and he beat me up after a night shift for him. Kicked me in the stomach 3 weeks after abdominal surgery and complications, closed fist back handed me across the right side of my face splitting the inside of my lip open (needing 6 stitches) and then pushed me through a glass coffee table. ALL THIS MY DAUGHTER 6.5 AT THE TIME, WITNESSED.

I got ready for work and left. I never reported it because I was too scared. 1 week later my mom helped save me and my daughter and got us out. I left him November of 2018. He is still in my life as we share our daughter and I have to share custody but he will never be allowed near me again, nor will he ever be allowed to touch myself or my daughter either.

Today, I am still healing and we are seeing counsellors and speaking out against domestic violence. My story isn’t over, and yours doesn’t have to be either. Today, I am with an amazing man, who loves me, he loves my daughter as his own and we are planning to get married in 2024. I never in a million years thought I would ever want to get married again..

Never be afraid to speak your TRUTH!!!!!