Ashley DeCent

survivor necklace

A true story.
Sometimes I need a visual reminder and a little reassurance; that’s why I bought this necklace.

Unexpectedly, one of the worst parts of domestic abuse, for me, has been in being told I was lying. While few have said this to me personally, it’s still definitely a stigma in this realm, and absolutely soul crushing.

For the survivor that finally finds their voice, or finally makes a plan, or finally means what they say, or finally doesn’t return, to be told “that didn’t happen,’ is an unfathomable low blow. When the abuser tries to brainwash family, friends, community services, the court, into taking their side and discrediting the victim, says they’re “crazy”, it is just another form of abuse.

I find that when the abuser can’t control the victim, they try to control how people think of them (as if they didn’t feel alone and isolated enough already).
I hate it. Like, it wasn’t good enough that you destroyed my life while we were together, now I have to experience post-separation abuse, too? (Yep, that’s a thing.)

After all the strength it takes to leave everything familiar and the love that was supposed to envelope it all, and start life all over again, with little ones depending on you, being told you are a liar and none of that happened is nothing short of a powerful kick in the guts that knocks out your wind, your lunch, and whatever broken parts of your heart that are left.

October is #domesticviolenceawareness month.

And, it’s a great day to #believesurvivors.


#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #DVAM #wearpurple #gaslighting #traumabonding #manipulation #sexualassault #metoo #domesticabusesurvivor #ptsd #selfcare #coercion #codependency #healing #speakup #advocateforchange

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