| I’m 32 and he is 31 I met this guy on Halloween night of 2021 a month after I recently broke up with my kid dad. He was working at the time at KFC. So that night I decided to go there to get food for my kid. I was amazed and how pleasant he was through the speaker phone , He was charming, and when I pulled to the order window he was handsome. I asked for his number if I can have it. He explained to me that he just got out of prison 4 months prior and he don’t have a phone yet . But can I give him my number I stated okay and gave him my number but before I drove off I laughed you better Call me ! He laughed and said he will ! So I was waiting for the call and he didn’t call that night but called the next day and I stated why didn’t you call the day that I stated he said I didn’t want to disrespect and call late ! I stated understood ! So as we began talking I asked him if he didn’t mind me asking what he went to prison for he stated he set his girlfriend apartment on fire ! I was scared at first but it is a saying you never suppose to judge anyone because everyone has flaws I even have flaws and run ins with the law before. I asked him why did he do it he stated because she cheated on me! I said oh wow why didn’t you just leave! He stated he was just hurt by it! So we continued to talk and he invited me to his home ! So I came over and I met his mom and at first she seemed nice but as the relationship went on we didn’t get along ! So as we started communicating more we then began hanging out and the first notice of issues in the relationship I grabbed his phone one day because it was ringing and I was just going to give him his phone we were out in the restaurant and he yelled at me to never touch his phone ! Why was I going through his phone ?! I stated I didn’t go through your phone someone was calling and I was just going to give you the phone I’m sorry ! So the next incident I walked in the gas station to buy snacks because we were headed to the beach and because me and one of the employees were briefly chatting he was watching me through the window and got out of the car as I was going to walk to the counter I ended up forgetting something and went to go get the item ! He has this mean look on his face, and walked up to me and stated “should he embarrass me right now”? I stated “no” what did I do? He then began to get loud and now all of the customers are looking at me and I was embarrassed to even pay for my items but I ended up paying for my items and then leaving! I asked him “why did he do that”? He stated “why am I smiling in another man face”? “What was so funny”? I stated I know him it was just a friendly conversation and he stated the next time I do that “he will knock my teeth out”! I stated “knock my teeth out” ? No you will not so as I’m driving he leaned over in my face and grabbed me by my face and stated “I won’t do what”? I didn’t say nothing ! I was then hurt and embarrassed! I let that incident go as well and continued talking to him ! So another time is when I was at his house and his dad was there and I said something he didn’t like. I’m not sure what I said and he began choking me and I screamed “don’t choke me” ! And his dad came out of the room and asked him “why is he doing that”? “Why is he being abusive” he told his dad “to mind his business” he can do what he want ! “I belong to him” ! A few moments later I decided to leave but he called me and stated he was sorry and wanted me to come over and like a fool I came over and this time with my kids. So moments later i was trying to speak to him and he wouldn’t respond so after feeling unwanted for a while I stated to him “I’m going to leave and he got upset and snatched all of my belongings including phone charger, baby items, and started throwing them and I picked them up put it in the carrier that I had and he pushed me and yelled “get out” ! So I tried to leave he tried to stop me and I stated I need to go I’ll be back and then he called me and stated for me to come back I stated “no not tonight”. “It’s not good to come back tonight! So another time we was driving in the car to a restaurant and I bought me some food and he was in the car and as I was walking out a guy was holding the door for me and I told the guy “thank you” he jumped out of the car and I was walking up to the car to get in he made the comment “the next time I smile in a guy face he was going to harm me” and the guy ! I stated “I don’t know him” he was just being nice ! So as I was driving he began opening my food ! I stated “put it back” I bought that food for me”! You didn’t buy it ! He said “so” and we are tussling over my food while I’m driving and then he put it back and put his hand around my neck so tight while I was driving ! I stated “please can you stop” ! I can’t breath ! It hurts ! Minutes later he let go ! My neck was hurting and he said he wasn’t sorry ! Because he is tired of me trying to “back talk him” ! So as the times went on the abuse got worse! One day after he asked me to come over to his house I told him I will only stay outside I’m not coming in! He stated okay that’s fine! A hour after that his mom came outside and wanted me off of her property we began arguing , I stated I’m not on your property what problem do you have with me besides that night that I came to your home because your son asked me too ! And I was with my kids ! So that was the final straw for me atleast I thought I left from their house and I stated to him after he decided to call ! I said I’m not going to be with you no more ! I can’t do this no more I’m done ! He apologized and stated he talked with his mom and he is sorry for the way he has been abusive I stated until you make a promise to not be abusive we can’t talk no more ! He promised me and I felt for it like a fool ! So as the weeks went on everything was going okay until one day he grabbed my phone and found a text from me and another guy and accused me of being sexually active with him which i stated he was just a friend! I never slept with him! We were not on good terms so I just wanted someone to talk with ! He gave me my phone and remained silent until I drop my kids back off home with my aunt and he asked me to come over so we can talk! I stated okay give me a minute ! So I came over to his house he was in the patio area in the dark I stated “why are you in the dark” he stated because he wanted to be ! He was “outside smoking a cigarette” ! I stated “you smoke cigarettes”? I didn’t know that ! “Can we go inside”? He said “NO”! “We are going to be out here” ! I said “okay”! “so what do you want to talk about”? He stated “why did I cheat on him”? I stated “I didn’t cheat on you” ! He then punched me in the face ! “I screamed so loud” and started crying hysterically ! I stated “why did you just hit me” ?! He stated “because I just lied to him”! I then tried to leave ! He pulled out a long knife behind the sofa ! And stated “if I leave he will kill me” ! So I stood there “holding my face” he continued to interrogate me accusing me of cheating ! I stated repeatedly “I didn’t cheat” ! He continued punching me to the point where my head began to hurt at that point his dad came out and stated that he is going to jail if he hit me one more time” ! He then began to argue with his father” ! His father told him” to fight him” why is he fighting on women “! He stated he will fight men or women”! I then began crying nonstop begging him to please let me leave “! He out the knife to my throat and stated “I wasn’t going anywhere” ! So I thought in my head if I wanted to live to just act like I care” and admit to cheating so he could stop hitting me and let me leave ! So after I stated “I love you “! I’m sorry that I cheated” ! “Please let me check on my kids” my aunt has them and I have to go back home” I promise I will come back” .. he then snapped in reality and stated “okay” I will let you go ! But you better come back and if I have to come looking for you it’s not going to be nice” ! I stated I will! So I came back and everything was okay I stayed to conversate but later left! From that moment I stated I will not speak to him again! But once again his charming talks got me ! the other incident and final incident was when we were together I picked him up from his home and I’m not sure how it happened but I believe we had got into a argument because he wanted to see me and I stated I was coming and because I took so long he called me 20 times nonstop and I stated that “I was coming”! But he was upset and stated “he is walking, looking for me” ! And I stated “I’m on my way now! He was upset by his voice on the phone ! I called him back because he hung on me and I stated “please I’m sorry I don’t want to fight” I was trying to find medicine for my kid” he stated to “hurry up and get to him” ! As soon as he opened my door he punched me so hard with my baby in my hand” ! And I tried to drive off he started punching me repeatedly I began screaming loud and the other witnesses seen it but he yelled for me to drive and even tried to push me out of the car ! I said “no” I am going to the police ! “He picked up my phone and hit me in the head” and a large knot developed instantly! In the middle of my head ! I stated why did you hit me in the head” ?! Please get out” , please “! I can’t do this anymore” ! He stated “so you leaving me” ! I was so scared but I stated yes”! He started punching me harder ! So I took him where he wanted me too and as he was talking with his friend “his friend seen that I was crying” ! He stayed to him “bro what are you doing” ? “Don’t beat on her” ! He stated “he was going to teach me a lesson” since I like playing games” ! He tried to convince him “no it is not the way to do things” ! He didn’t care ! Soon as I begin taking him home 5 minutes from his home he began choking me from the backseat while I was drivin and I instantly put the car in park while I’m trying to get loose! I was gasping for air “telling him I couldn’t breathe”! He told me to open the sunroof ! I screamed “I can’t breathe please”. I have my kid” so my 5 month old began to cry” I instantly got into motherhood mode and turned around grabbed my pocket knife because I was going to kill him ! I was tired of him beating on me ! And as we began tussling for the knife I didn’t want him to get it but I was trying to escape the car as well to run for help! So he ended up cutting his hand and I he screamed so he let me go and I jumped out of the car by opening the door and then grabbing my baby I had no shoes on and I walked as fast as I can and a bystander who seen it all stated to “keep walking she is calling the cops” I said “he is trying to kill me”! Please help! I left my car there and began walking barefooted ! So another bystander was driving by asking him “what was the problem why was he bleeding” he stated he “cut himself” and I raned back to the car soon as he got out and was away from the car and I sped off ! And parked in the parking lot by dollar general and just began crying ! A police was already called and he approached me and stated “ he received a domestic call was I okay” ? I said “yes” I just broke up with my boyfriend I just want him to leave me alone” he asked did I want to press charges “ I said no” ! “I just want him to leave me alone “! The only reason why I didn’t press charges because I knew he was going back to prison because he wasn’t allowed to get out of prison and commit a crime within 2 years I believe of 3 years due to DOC policy ! Moments later he calling me back to back I had numerous missed calls 50+ I wasn’t answering, even texted messages saying he don’t know what he was doing he sorry! I know I’m never going to talk to him again but please just hear him out”! I answered “no” I’m done ! “You tried to kill me” please leave me alone”! He stated he wanted to go to the ER I said “no” ! “Dont text me or call me anymore”! Long story short that was the last straw I didn’t speak to him again! I found that he moved and one day he found me on social media and started to reach out I never responded! I learned my lesson! This hasn’t been my first domestic relationship but it was my worse and last! Never again! I now have a permanent pain in my head where he hit me with my phone causing a dent in the middle of my skull! But thank god I am still alive to tell my story! |
The Journey of a Domestic Violence Survivor: Healing and Resilience
By Survivor The life of a Survivor of Domestic ViolenceThe repair of the abuse is never repaired because the damage is too unrepairable, mental or physical abuse stays with the survivor for life.Future relationships will be affected by the triggers of the survivor and the relationship will usually suffer, to...
