Carly S

After 8 months of constant harassment and court hearings I’m finally brave enough to share my story with the world in hopes no one has to go through what I went through.

I met my ex fiancé at 12 years old. He was 15 at the time. We met online and chatted until we met in person with my family and his.

Things were great for about 4 months then I learned about his stealing and lying habits. 5 months into the relationship he went to a juvenile facility for 4ish months until he was transferred to a mental health home for about a year and 3 months. Being young and in love I stayed with him. Contacted him every day I possibly could while he was in juvy and the mental facility, visited him every chance I got.

Then about 4 months into him being in the mental facility I find out from peers that he was supposedly flirting with another girl in there. A girl that hated me for being his girlfriend. I thought nothing of it and assumed it was just her flirting and not both of them.

Fast forward to when he gets out. He gets kicked out of his home and lives with me and my family for about 2 1/2 years. In those years the pain and suffering I went through was too much for a 14-16 year old to handle. I was constantly diminished, told I was never enough, never did anything for him, verbally abused with words I couldn’t even say to another human and that’s when the physical portion started.

One day I was making breakfast for us in the kitchen and he started poking me and I politely asked him to quit then he wouldn’t stop. After constantly saying to stop to no avail, I turned around and was stern and said to stop. This prompted him to grab me by my wrists and yell in my face that I need to stop being so rude to him. When I fought back for him to let go of me he grabbed me by the neck and pushed me into our accordion doors, screaming in my face that “I” needed to stop. That was the first true abuse not to mention the slapping, punching and pushing I would receive that was, to him, in a playful manner.

Soon after that I would find emails on his account of dating websites or forums and ask him about it and he would always say that I was being paranoid, obnoxious and that it was just spam. Fast forward a couple more bruises I ended up finding him constantly texting the girl that he was supposedly “not flirting with” in the mental health facility.

At first it was just text between then very casual but I still didn’t appreciate it. He would always tell me that I needed to stop being a b**ch about it because it was none of my business. More verbal and physical abuse go on and he proposes a couple months before our 4 year anniversary and I say yes because I was young dumb and in love.

Anytime we would get in a fight about his attitude or how he made me feel or when I would catch him cheating he would “make it up to me” and be sweet for 2 or so weeks then go right back to what he was doing before hand. Moving to December 2021. We went on our 5 year anniversary trip-that I paid for because he didn’t want to. We’re there having an alright time. End up getting in a huge fight and he takes a nap and I’m just laying in bed beside him then I hear his phone go off. He was always very protective of his phone, never let me see anything, always told me I was paranoid and obnoxious for wanting to know his business when my phone was always open for him and I never had any problems with him going through my phone. Because I was faithful. Well I go to check his phone because it was 9 at night on a Saturday and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t missing a call from work. Well I see it and it says HER name. The same name from months prior, the same name from the mental health facility. I wake him up and I’m freaking out saying I thought you were done. He started unloading every horrible thing he can think of to say to me. Tries to make it up to me by taking me to Walmart to get a disc to watch and while we’re in Walmart tears in my eyes, bleeding from my arms, we’re fighting and he keeps telling me “shut up no one needs to hear about this” then his mistress starts harassing me after she found my number and telling me to kill myself and how her friends were going to come after me and how she knew where I lived. I told him to tell her to leave me alone. He tries to tell he he’d talk to her and tell her to stop. Well he walks off and I should have known then that he didn’t say stop. He didn’t say it was over. He would just keep telling her that he loved her and that I’d be out of his life soon.


That night was the worst night of my life.. the night he told me that he didn’t know if he loved me or her then chose me and never unblocked her. After “making up” the thing I never thought would happen, happened. He forced me to have sex with him when he and I both knew I didn’t want to.

I almost left that night before any of that happened. I almost left when I found out he loved her. But I was in love. I thought he was my only one. I never knew I could get out of a relationship like that. I never knew that that kind of relationship WASNT A RELATIONSHIP but a king and a pawn. I was nothing to him but a title.

Jan 2022 I woke up from a nap one day while he was on a work trip and had a bad feeling in my gut. I checked his mistresses Facebook and her last name changed to his. My life felt like it was over. I unblock her to find out why her last name changed and she sends me a picture of him holding a marriage certificate with both of their names on it. At this point I am scream crying wondering why I deserved any of this. That day I told him to pack his crap and if he wasn’t gone in two days all of his stuff was going to the dump.

After he’s gone I start getting these random texts telling me to kill myself and all of these harmful things so I changed my phone number, then it kept happening and I knew who it was. It was my ex fiancées wife. She told me I stole him from her for 4 years and that I deserved to pay. For 3 1/2 months straight I would get threatening text from multiple different numbers, some fake numbers, some numbers of her friends and one day I had enough. I filed for a protective order and was granted a 2 year protection from his wife. The courts tried to try her for her actions but to no avail then her and my ex harassed me in the court parking lot (after I had my protective order) and the courts tried to get her for that one too but the officers never wrote their names so there was no case to be had. We split in January, my last court date was the first week of October and I am FINALLY moving on. I’m finally completely away from the hate, the mental physical and sexual abuse that I dealt with for 5 years because I thought it was okay. Because I was a teenager and I thought that’s how true relationships were, you had fights and you made up.

Throughout all of this I lost so many friends, I was pulled away from my family because he would never let me see anyone besides him and his family. I lost friends because he wouldn’t let me talk to them. He controlled my whole life. And I let him.

Knowing what I know now, I don’t know how I survived. I don’t know how I am still here on this earth today after everything he put me through. I am so thankful for my family and close friends that have stayed with me and been there through the darkest nights of my life after going through what no person should. What no TEENAGER should go through. I lost almost all of my teenage years because of him and I will NEVER forgive him for that. I will never forgive him for anything he’s ever done to me. 10 months I have been single, 10 months of suffering through court dates while trying to move on. 1 month that I finally feel like myself.