Chantel L

My story is one that I never thought I would go through but I have learned it’s made me who I am and as painful as it is I wouldn’t redo any of it. My story starts off as a child who was physically and sexually abused growing up in the foster care system and then witnessing domestic violence happening between the foster parents , I grew up thinking it was just the normal. I was conditioned at that young age to accept that as a form of love.

As time progressed and I got older I ran away at seventeen with my ex-husband who swore he was going to rescue me from all of what I was going through. Then my hell started all over again with him, first insults and attacking my self esteem, then spit on to peed on to a slap here and there then progressed to full putting me into the hospital every-time. Then I got pregnant with our first son and I thought things would change just a little but that’s when it started to get even worse.

I tried to leave several times and he started problems at every shelter I would be at or he would threaten to take away my son , so I would go back out of fear. Then I got pregnant with our daughter and he filled up with so much anger and hatred for not wanting a girl that he beat her out of me causing me to go into labor early and her dying the next day. I hated him so much and once again I tried to leave but again he repeated the same actions but threw in threatened to kill himself and as much as I hated him I knew at the end of the day that was still my son’s father so I again went back.

Well I got pregnant right away with our second son and that’s when I found out he was started to sexually abuse our older son and I tried to leave one last time but his family offered to jump in and help with the situation and help “get his attitude right” so we packed up and moved to PA . And literally three day’s later the worst day of my life happened , he physically tried to kill me and our sons and I packed up and tried to leave and his family physically refuse to let me and the kids leave and called child services on me . They came out and told me that they were opening an investigation against me for child abuse and that I could leave but the kids could not , and if I tried I would be thrown in jail for kidnapping.

So I made the hardest choice a mother could make , I left with the help of the local dv shelter and left my boys with him and his family. Unfortunately I would say things got better but they did not he ended up paying off child services and they lied on documentation stating I was being founded of long term child abuse and they were pressing charges against me. Sadly they had the whole thing set up and lied in court and I was found guilty of child abuse, simple assault against a minor and child endangerment.

I lost my teaching degree , my freedom and my boys . I was sent to jail for the next fourteen months and I lost my kids permanently until they hit eighteen and can decide on their own. They were adopted to a new family due to my ex husband showing the judge he wasn’t fit to take care of him , so as much as I hated this and it broke me I knew they were finally free from him and so was I but at a high cost.

But I have learned to let this make me stronger and now I’m on a mission to help other’s like myself and be there when they need that support , I am now a blogger and public speaker to bring awareness and education to this taboo subject and help change the world one survivor at a time. I now volunteer here at the BTSADV and try to help make an impact on the lives that come my way. And I am now married again but this time to an amazing man . I just want to say never lose hope , things might not go as we plan or wanted , things might fall apart but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.