I’ve never had the courage to speak up until now.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month!
In view of this month I’m going to speak out on my own personal experience. In no way am I looking for pity, I speak out so other women and men experiencing DV can live and have hope and get recourses
In October 2017 I met the man who would become my abuser. He just seemed like someone who had been dealt a bad hand in life and I thought I could help him. Early on in our relationship, he introduced me to drugs. I unfortunately began using with him and things quickly started spiraling downward. Arguing was a normal occurrence, but they quickly turned violent as he would put his hands on me during the arguments. Each time he’d apologize and swear it would never happen again. Each time I forgave him. However, it ALWAYS happened again, each time getting worse. He began to abuse me in other ways that were not just verbal and physical. He began sexually abusing me as well. At this point I was afraid to leave as he had made threats to harm himself or me if I did. This continued for months, until June 2018. I received a call from some family asking me to go out one night. Scared of being accused of cheating on him (which he regularly did), I invited my abuser to go with me. He declined, so I went alone. This gave me a chance to FINALLY open up about the abuse going on in my home. That night, when I was getting ready to go back home, my abuser called me and threatened my life if I returned home. So I found a place to stay. The next day when I did return, I came back to find that my apartment had been absolutely demolished. Holes in the walls, clutter everywhere. Everything was in chaos. Knowing that this would probably cause us to be evicted, I began to take photographic evidence. He told me to stop, and when I didn’t he charged at me. I ran from the room to the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. The door didn’t have a lock so I attempted to block the door with my body. The door was flimsy and I was only 97 pounds at the time due to my drug use. He quickly and easily broke the door down and proceeded to beat me, ripping my clothing off my body. I screamed. It was all I knew to do. There was a fire in his eyes as he continued to strike me in the ribs and face. He stopped for a moment and began screaming at me. I took that opportunity to run from the room and out the front door of the apartment In my shredded clothing and bloodied nose. I made it to my vehicle, locked myself inside and called 911.
Before I knew it, an ambulance and officers were at my location. They arrested him on the spot. I watched, broken, as they took him away.
My parents got notification of my 911 call and also came rushing to my location. After speaking with the officers for what seemed like hours, my parents took me to the hospital to be seen.
Though I had escaped my abuser, the following year was still not easy. I still had a long journey ahead of me. I lost my home, moved back in with my family, and was forced to start all over.
I found resources in my community that would go on to help me in my healing process. I began seeing a therapist, and found a case worker that partnered with the local women’s shelter, Harmony House. After finding myself a stable job, I began working again and got clean from drugs. I was doing very well for myself and have been ever since. I thank God everyday for my life and for the support of my family.
It’s now been a couple of years since I escaped the torture of a man that messed with my head every day. I can’t change what has happened to me or what I’ve done, but I refuse to be reduced by it. I am not a victim. I’m a survivor. I’m a fighter, and this is my story.
If you are being abused by your partner, it is not a reflection of you. It is the abusers choice, to abuse. It may seem impossible to escape your abuser or change your circumstances, but it is possible. For anyone facing domestic abuse, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help, before it’s too late.
National Domestic Abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233. thehotline.org • ndvh.org
National Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474. loveisrespect.org
Domesticshelters.org
