We had been together for 14 years. I asked for a divorce after being married for a little over 10 years, as a result of his belittling me and being terrible to me in general. He never laid a hand on me during our time together. It was more so just his words and actions. I would get the silent treatment for weeks at a time. He accused me of sleeping with other people because I worked long hours and went to nursing school. He turned my two oldest children against me at that time.
After asking for the divorce, I moved into my own apartment and felt so liberated. I remember feeling so at peace that first night away from him. After I moved out, he wouldn’t want to watch our younger kids, only the two oldest. He’d tell them I was a drunk. He’d tell them that I was sleeping around. After I had been on my own for about a month, he called and asked to spend time with the younger kids while the oldest were in school. I agreed. He met us at the play area where I lived. We got along and I even allowed him to come to my apartment and see the kids’ rooms. He was very pushy and carried me to room and had sex with me. I kept telling him no. I cried after. He asked me to go to Mexico with him that weekend. He told me his mom was sick and he wanted the kids to meet her before she passed. I told him I had to think about it. I knew I didn’t want to but I was afraid to tell him no after the rest of the visit seemed to go well. He didn’t leave that night for Mexico. He said something happened with his ride to the bus station.
We went to lunch and had a good rest of our visit. The next day, he came back and spent time with all the kids. I told him I didn’t want to go to Mexico with him. He got mad and left without telling the kids bye. This made them upset. He told me he was going on his own that night. I told him I understood but I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to go with him. He called me the next day and asked if he could get the kids from school. I agreed. He stopped and bought pizza and dinner for me. He even brought us all ice cream. I started eating mine and noticed that it tasted bitter. I ran my finger over the top and saw pill residue. I immediately stopped eating it and then he inspected it. He said he didn’t see anything and put the rest in the garbage disposal. He offered to go get me another one and I refused.
He then told me that he wanted to tell the big kids goodbye since he was going to Mexico that night. He took them to my daughters room and shut the door. He talked to them and came back out. No one was upset which I thought was odd but I felt maybe they were just handling it well. He left. I began to feel sleepy after he left. I called my brother and he told me to just stay awake.he lives out of town. My ex called me several times that night and I didn’t answer. He texted me multiple times saying he knew I was talking to another man but he needed something and I needed to answer. I didn’t and went to bed.
Before I got to sleep, he called again and I chose to answer. He said he was at the door and he needed help. I went to the door and opened it. He came in and so did another man that I’d never met. My ex told me that the man had found him on his way to the bus station and I needed to do what he said. At this point, I’m angry with my ex. I asked why he’d bring him to my house with our children there. The man told me I needed to do what he said. He didn’t want to hurt me or the kids. He took my phone and keys. He told me to get everyone ready because we had to go. I wanted to know where we were going but he wouldn’t say. He just kept saying I needed to listen. So my ex helped me get all my kids ready and we were made to ride in my van. The man drove. I was in the passengers seat. I had no idea where we were going but I couldn’t get out because what about my kids? What would happen to them? What would happen to my ex? I was scared for all of us.
He drove for a few minutes and he told me that if we had $300 he’d let us go. I told him I didn’t have that but I could get it if he took me to the atm. He said he couldn’t do that. My ex asked if he would take $250. He agreed. He pulled over and my ex and him went behind the van and talked. My ex came back and got in the car. He didn’t want to take me back to my apartment. He said there may be someone waiting there. He was scared. I told him he had to take me back. He finally agreed but said we’d have to go in and check it out before the kids could come in. I agreed.
We went into my apartment. We checked every room. We finally made it to my room and all was clear. I turned my back to him and he came up behind me and put an arm around my neck just resting it there. I didn’t think anything of it because he’d been overly affectionate in the past. He then put both arms around my neck and squeezed as hard as he could. I fought him as hard as I could. I kicked and tried to scratch. My tongue hanging out of my mouth the whole time and I can’t breathe. We end up in the floor and I’m still trying to fight him off but I can’t. I tried to scream but he squeezed harder. I tried to will myself to pass out but then I just got angry. I thought about my kids in the car and what would happen to them. He cried while choking me and said I made him do this. I was HIS wife. He finally released his grip enough for me to talk and I begged him to let me go. I said I’d do anything he wanted. He said he wanted me to go to Mexico with him. I agreed. He took me out into the hallway and turned me to face him. He tried to kiss me and I turned my head. He backed up and pulled his penis out of his pants and said I was going to suck his d*** because I was HIS wife. I cried. He was fully erect. He put himself back into his pants and took me to the kitchen.
He got into his pocket and pulled out two pills. He told me to take them. I refused. He made me anyway so I put them in my mouth and I hid them. When he wasn’t looking I spit them out but they had been under my tongue for quite some time. I asked if he was the one who put pills in my ice cream earlier and he said yes because they were supposed to make me sleepy. We eventually went back down to the van and he took me to where he was staying. He got his suitcase and we were on the road. I told him my neck hurt and begged him to take me to the hospital. At first he reused but then he relented. He took me in and the kids stayed in the car. He threatened my life and theirs if told on him. I promised I wouldn’t. I checked in and told the nurse I fell and hurt my neck. The doctor came in and ordered an X-ray. Thankfully I could finally go in the room alone. I told the tech what had happened. They called security and then the police. The police came and arrested him. They took pictures and got my statement. My kids were ok as they had an officer with them as well. He’s still in jail. His trial should be coming up in a few months after being postponed many times.
My oldest child later told me that his dad bought pills from a man when they went to pick up the pizza that day. When he took them in their room to talk with them he apparently told them his plan. I was supposed to fall asleep because of the pills and they would open the door for him. He would carry me to the van and we’d be on our way to Mexico. My oldest also told me his dad had given him a liquid drug to put in my coffee each day for weeks. My son is no longer in my home. He’s unfortunately in a group home and he’s thankfully getting the help he needs. Thank you for reading my story. This has truly been the hardest time of my life.
