By Survivor Ebony
Domestic abuse to resilience, this is the story about how survivor Ebony escaped her abuser.
*The following story is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse. Names have been changed to protect all involved.*
Small Town Girl
I’m from a beautiful small town called Ocean Springs in Mississippi. I had both parents and I am the middle child of 3 children. I have a younger sister and an older brother.
My parents were never married but have been with each other for 17 years. They ended up splitting up in around 2010. There was really no drama between my parents. I always went to both parents households without any problems.
Big Accomplishments and Growing Older
As a teenager, graduated Ocean Springs High School in 2013. A huge accomplishment for my entire family including myself!
Of course I thought I was an adult because I was the “magical” 18 years old. Unfortunately, I had that attitude of “I don’t have to listen to you anymore, I’m grown, I do what I want”.
I never really had a boyfriend in middle school, or high school. I always seen other girls holding hands in the hallway getting in trouble for P.D.A- Public Display of Affection.
Getting Out There
Well I did a little something outta character. I made a Plenty of Fish (P.O.F) dating profile. Mind you, I had just graduated high school. I didn’t think anything would come from it.
I met someone on there. If I’m not mistaken, I sent a dude a message and they responded. Well, it just took off from there!
We stayed on the app chatting until our first date at Ruby Tuesday’s. Date went well, but I was nervous the entire time.
After the date we ended up going back to his place, and he just happened to have roommates. He had two awesome dogs! I do love animals. Animals have a weak spot in my heart.
Dating Leads to So Much More
He drove me back to my mom’s house. We kept talking. Fast forwarding a few weeks and my body wasn’t acting like itself.
I know my body. So he bought a pregnancy test. It was positive. I flipped out! I didn’t have a career, I had a Pontiac Trans Am, lived with my mom, had a dog.
He was extremely ecstatic because he’s always wanted to be father. He called all of his family. I didn’t know how I was going to tell mine.
9 months later in 2014, I gave birth to my first child. My little boy was 6lbs 7oz 21in. I loved being a mommy! And, in 2016 I married my son’s father while I was expecting our 2nd son. Gave birth to our 2nd son in 2016.
Florida and PPD
I was living in Jacksonville, FL with my now ex-husband’s mother while he traveled for work. He was in Sioux City, IA.
I had 0 family around when I was in Jacksonville. Just his mom. All in all, I feel deep into postpartum depression.
I never had it with my first son. Of course I was scared, lonely, felt like I wasn’t giving my sons the best mom they could ever have. I was put on an antidepressant for 9 months close to a year.
I ended up moving back to Ocean Springs with both of my sons. Felt so much better, because I was with my family, I had help, I was around Harmony.
The Beginning of Domestic Abuse
We moved to southeast Texas at the end of 2017. We were renting and of course had no family nearby. Just my two kids and my now ex-husband.
We did things as a couple, but rarely. In 2018, we bought our first house. Literally across the street from the rental house we moved from and everything was great!
I was a stay at home mom and I met amazing moms who were as well. We started hanging out with each other with our kids. My now ex worked in a city 30min away.
We barely had date nights but I tried to please him.
In 2019, we had a falling out. A fall out to where my ex moved his mom in our marital estate. I thought she was there to help me while I finished college. However, it turned out she was moved in to watch my every move. Domestic abuse by keeping me isolated from everyone.
Control and Abuse
The next day, my ex went up to his lawyers office to file for divorce and he also placed a temporary restraint against me so I couldn’t take my kids outta the state of Texas.
Mind you, no family, no money, was in college, two small kids, everything was in HIS name. The abuse started then. I was made to sleep on the living room couch for 28 days.
My kids had their own room, I checked on them throughout the night. His mom had her own room. I didn’t have the immediate funds for an attorney.
He had one. He told me to follow what his attorney had placed on the paper. I was fighting time for my kids and myself. I ended up getting an attorney.
He Was Happy I Was Fighting Back
Ex was happy I was fighting back. I was given $950/month child support and $2k. Personally, I consider that hush money.
I was looking for an apartment for the boys and I. We had mediation. I won’t lie, I BEGGED to go home to MS with my family.
He kept saying no. In my mind, I kept trying to figure out how I was going to do all of this without any family. Mediation didn’t go through.
We ended up having a trial in 2020. It was on zoom during COVID. My ex lied through his teeth. Used my postpartum depression against me, saying I was depressed still, kept a letter I wrote when I was going through postpartum depression and his lawyer read it during the trial.
The worst of the worst happened to me. The judge gave the boys to my abuser. He was given primary custody, I was ordered to pay him $200/month CS. My ex smiled in the camera and high-fived his attorney.
Ever since that day, my ex-husband has taken me to court EVERY year since 2019. I haven’t missed a year. CPS, the police was called on me.
Yesterday, in 2025, we had mediation because he started an abuse allegation towards me knowing it wasn’t true. He fought to keep primary custody. He is all about control and his domestic abuse was all about controlling me.
Keep Speaking Up About Your Domestic Abuse
I won’t EVER shut up about what I went through and the domestic abuse.
In all of the chaos, I finished college with my surgical technology degree! Please, keep fighting.
Your kids need you.
Check These Resources:
Support Line
Other Resources and Information:
