It was autumn of 2013. The leaves had been falling, and blowing around in the wind. I was hanging out at the youth emergency services, a local charity that helps prevent youth from being homeless. I didn’t have a car, no job, I was homeless with no where to go. There was a guy there named Dave. He was very strong built with dark curly hair. He was always flirting with me and would Crack jokes to get me to smile. I didn’t like him at first. I thought he was very annoying. Well one day I agreed to hang out with him. We walked around downtown,.went to the Thrift store, the library , we talked and had a fun time. He wasn’t that bad I thought he was actually pretty cool.. So he was living on someone’s floor (literally) in a High rise building off Park Avenue. He asked me to come “spend the night” I did and we jus continued to hang out and hook up. He got very possessive quickly. He wanted to be by my side every single move I made… he’d follow me. If I went to the gas station he’d want to go. If I wanted to go hang out with some friends , he demanded to go as well. They didn’t like him. So it got old, and I told him how I felt smothered by him. He said I was “ungrateful ” so the winter came ..it started getting very cold out and being homeless outside was unbearable. So my father finally gave in and said I could live with him in his spare room. We didn’t get along during my younger teens so he kicked me out at age 18. It was very sad and painful. But he gave me another chance to come home that winter was frigid. He had one rule. No company.
So I didn’t want Dave to ruin that.
I moved into my dad’s and got settled. Dave would show up and knock on the door, knock on the windows. I would tell him to stop and I’d have to call the police each and every time. My father was already disappointed in me so this made it even worse.
One day Dave showed up late at night. I asked him to leave. He refused. So instead of calling the cops, I left. I started walking out the house down the street he follows me. I told him loud and clear “Dave I don’t want to be with you, you smother me. You follow me. You don’t let me be myself. I don’t Iike that. I will never get back on my feet with you anchoring me down to your miserable ways” he snapped and shoved me. He continued to beat on me. I walked all.the way down to a mental health rehab. I ran in there and he followed me, of course. The staff said what’s going on? I said I’m mentally exhausted. This man just followed me all the way down here , hitting me and shoving me. I need to get away from him!!!!!!” They saw the bruises and marks yet the Rude nurse said “this is not a domestic violence shelter “
They called the cops though. Dave ran off. The cops gave me a ride back to my dad’s. I felt so defeated..I was scared my dad would kick me out.
So then I started going to community College. I got a small scholarship, I had to take the bus there and back. I felt good about getting my life together. Of course, Dave would get on the bus and follow me to School. I dropped out because of it. It was way too much and it seamed like no one cared. Every time I’d call the cops they couldn’t do much. I went to hang out with my friend Jessica. This is scary. Dave didn’t know her. I was at her apartment telling her about everything… we both had a weird feeling. Dave called my cell phone a million times. Back then, you couldn’t block someone like you can now. And that wouldn’t of stopped him anyway, Well me and Jessica both had a weird feeling. We looked outside of her door peep hole. Sure enough Dave was in the hallway. I’m like what the hell..what does he want ??? We called the cops. The police arrived and found him in the fire escape with large kitchen knife. They arrested him and he served some time. It took a long time for me to heal from all.of that. Journaling helped me , going back to school, hanging with friends , music was my escape as well. But my advice is to NOT be so quick to hang out or hookup. I know it’s lonely out here but Please be careful there are a million Daves sadly. He needed mental help what he did to Me was not right.
The Journey of a Domestic Violence Survivor: Healing and Resilience
By Survivor The life of a Survivor of Domestic ViolenceThe repair of the abuse is never repaired because the damage is too unrepairable, mental or physical abuse stays with the survivor for life.Future relationships will be affected by the triggers of the survivor and the relationship will usually suffer, to...
