| Hello, I don’t know how to start that story, or if anyone will read it, but by putting words on a tablet screen, maybe will help to face my demons. I am a 59 years old French woman who met this American citizen man 5 years ago. I never really fit in France, my home country. Since I lost my grandparents, about 20 years ago, l felt rejected by the whole family (my mother, father, sister and niece). I travelled several times to the States by the past, enough to know how much I love your country. My life was so empty in France and Jim, my American man, as I called him, was on chat with me on a daily basis. When I met him online, he told me that he was 50 years old, and still worked as a nurse, in Oklahoma. I trusted him and it was wonderful to be in touch with an American. Just a few weeks later, some feelings appeared between us and I had to meet that man one way or another. For a couple of months Jim refused to send me a picture of himself and I started having trouble to believe him on the story of his life he decided to talk to me about. He told me he was a Vietnam Veteran and I didn’t believe him because I knew it couldn’t be possible as he was too young. Then we started fighting on the phone and I didn’t want to lose him, so I often apologized for being so suspicious. I was so in love with his voice, so in love with an old photo of himself he sent me, that I could easily picture our lives together. Then I decided to travel to Oklahoma, as he told me that he had some hard time to walk, so I wanted to make things easier for him if he only could accept to meet me in a hotel in Dallas. He agreed to take the bus to Texas and l was so happy to finally see him, that anything else counted at that time. A couple of days before my departure, he told me that I had to cancel my trip, telling me that he lied to me about his age, but that he didn’t want to lose me because he fell in love. He was 70 years old and that day, everything in my mind just collapsed and I felt lost, but l didn’t want to cancel my trip and wanted to see him at all cost. We saw each other in Texas as we planned it and when he held me for the first time I knew that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Several times he told me that he wanted to marry me but I have never been married, and this is not what I wanted. So after my last trip to the States on December 2019, he finally told me that he didn’t want to let me go, that we could be together forever if I could accept to marry him by Common Law Marriage. I gave up on everything l had in France, a job, a house and my car, just to be with him. Little by little this man insulted me, and I tried to leave so many times, but he never wanted to let me go, telling me that I couldn’t come back to the States. He never wanted me to get a job, we have no car, I have no health insurance, no phone and l never felt so miserable my entire life. He made me lose my self esteem, and today l feel like a baby as I can’t make any decision for myself. I just live as I don’t know how to die, because I don’t want this kind of life anymore. In 4 years he invited me to the restaurant just a month ago, and I had to pay for the meal as his credit card didn’t work that day. I had some savings when I left France and I don’t want to be broke. I have no health insurance as he said that I wouldn’t be able to afford it, but fortunately I am still in good health. I contacted so many people, trying to find some help (DV Shelters, attorneys, DV Hotline, even the French Consulate) but everybody told me to go back to france, and I can’t do that. There is absolutely nothing for me in france, so right now I don’t know what to do with my life. Maybe you will read this part of my story and maybe some of you will give me some advice. I don’t want to end my life here in Texas, at 59 years old. Thank you to all of you, take care. |
The Journey of a Domestic Violence Survivor: Healing and Resilience
By Survivor The life of a Survivor of Domestic ViolenceThe repair of the abuse is never repaired because the damage is too unrepairable, mental or physical abuse stays with the survivor for life.Future relationships will be affected by the triggers of the survivor and the relationship will usually suffer, to...
