By Emilie Trepanier
Tina Stewart was a chairperson on the PTA where she was sure to attend every meeting. She never missed a lunch with her kids, and she was sometimes described a “big kid” herself, because she just had a way with children. Her life was cut short when she was brutally murdered by her ex-boyfriend Thanksgiving 2017.
Tina’s uncle, Don Estes, who considers himself the uncle of three women murdered as a final act of domestic violence, said “If I let this die, her legacy and her memory dies, and I refuse to let that happen. I do this because I want her children to know their mama. Her life, her death, was [not] in vain and it meant something to the world.”
Don said the family didn’t have any reason to believe Tina’s abuser, Nicholas, could be so violent. Tina and Nicholas broke up after he gave her a bloody nose, and a few months later he convinced his family to tell her he changed. This led Tina to Nicholas’s father’s home on Thanksgiving 2017, where Nicholas horrifically murdered Tina under his father’s room. While his father heard the fighting, he turned up the television and ignored it. The coroner said Tina’s entire body was left black and blue.
Don said their family was shocked to discover during the trial in January 2018 that Nicholas had a juvenile record for violence. Don said had Tina known this, she would never have dated Nicholas in the first place. He claimed he went into a drunken black out and had no memory of hurting Tina; the judge believed him and gave him eight years in prison, eight years on parole.
Don said that people deserve to know about past convictions such as Nicholas’s. He said after that trial, the family was thinking about what they could do. Don called Washington’s State Representative, Brad Klippert. When the secretary told Don that Klippert couldn’t meet until July, Don said that wasn’t going to work, and asked the secretary to tell Klippert to research Tina’s story. Half an hour later, Klippert called back and they had coffee that Saturday; Tina’s Law was born. “The ultimate goal here is for a national database [for violent crimes] … everybody has a right to know who is living next door,” Don said. They are working to get Tina’s Law passed in Washington, then California, Utah, Wisconsin, and more.
When Tina was 11 or 12, Don said she noticed homeless people while coming home from school one day. She asked her mother where they got their food, and when she learned they were homeless, she went home and made up a bag of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fed them. Don said she was always “amazing,” and she continued to feed the homeless until she was murdered. He said her funeral was full of homeless people there to honor her.
“She was all about the kids, that’s how she lived her life,” Don said. He said one family event, the whole house was swarming with loud children. After ten minutes of quiet, the adults went to check on the kids and found Tina had come and had them all coloring and doing crafts. “She just could do that, she had a way with kids,” Don said. “Tina was a supermom…if anybody had a problem with their kids, they just called Tina.”
Don said his drive to execute Tina’s Law started out to honor Tina’s life and her children but became so much bigger. He said, “It’s about all the survivors and victims who have lost her voices. So many children are getting hurt due to domestic violence.”
Don said Tina’s story has gone viral around the world, and since then, he has received an outpour of love, support, and thank-you’s from victims of domestic violence and their families. He said women have reached out to him on social media, saying that Tina’s story inspired them to leave their abusers for good.
“Now, I’ve got nothing but time on my hands, so you know what? I’m going to keep pushing this. I’m working hard. It’s a no-brainer,” Don said.
On October 1, Don will be a speaker in a domestic violence rally in Washington DC. He said there will be a march from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial, and he will speak about Tina’s Law.
“People get numb to this,” Don said, “we can get people involved in this conversation [about domestic violence] and to contact their congress and senators. People don’t realize their voice counts. Their voice does count.” He continued, saying every three seconds, there’s another victim of domestic violence in the United States. He said, if you do the math, that’s 1200 victims per hour; 11 million victims each year, effecting one third of households.
Tina’s law isn’t just asking for a national database, similar to how perpetrators of sexual violence must be registered sex offenders. Tina’s Law is asking for education funding and housing. Don said the number one thing victims complain about is no housing; they don’t have any place to go. “We need to do something about that. We’re not going to stop until we’re done,” Don said, “It’s time to end this violence. It’s time, people. It’s time.”
Tina’s birthday is coming up, and Don said he and Tina’s children are going to visit her grave. “It’s not easy losing a parent but losing a parent the way she was taken was heartbreaking, to say the least.” Don said Tina’s ex-husband sometimes blames himself, but that families of these victims can’t play the “ifs, ands, or buts game,” because it isn’t their fault.
Don doesn’t want Tina to ever be forgotten.
“Her legacy is far from over,” he said.
You can participate in the Angel Fund no matter where you live by donating to Ashleigh and Patience’s scholarship. Your active presence from July 1 to 22 could make a huge difference in the life of a survivor. You can donate here or text “Angel22” to 71777.
