I never talked about it

Hello,
I am not too sure how this works, but here we go. I am doing the #run4her fundraiser to run for Break the silence against domestic violence.
This morning, I woke up and went on a 2 mile run before my therapy session. It felt so nice, so relieving. During my session, we talked about my history of domestic violence.
When I was a child, around 7 years old, that’s when the abuse began. My parents had just divorced and my mom got full custody. We met her new boyfriend. For years, he physically and sexually abused me. I was so angry for so long. My mom always blamed me, and still does, for ruining the family when the last time of many I tried to tell someone what was happening. We were taken away from her. After 4 years or so of being molested, and whipped, beat, by this man. I never talked about it. For a decade I never talked about it. A few years ago, I was in a domestic violence situation where very similar stuff happened to me, I won’t go into much detail, but I was left with bruises, forced to have sex with the person because “you have to make sacrifices when in a relationship”, as he would tell me. I got out of that situation when he was arrested. The state charged him with strangulation, among other things. A few months later, the charges were dropped due to “lack of evidence” even though I had photos and messages of him admitting to what he was doing to me. He came after me by trying to sue me, and it was yet another situation of me having to stay quiet, having to hide, having to be so small because of my abuser.
I never had my own voice, never defended myself when I should have. I remember him looking into my eyes before wrapping his hands around my neck. I remember me just freezing.
I was made out to have done something wrong both times for my abuser’s actions. I was made to feel crazy and like I was making it all up.
I’m doing the fundraiser not only for myself, but for the ones that didn’t make it, the ones that stay silent and don’t have a voice. It’s okay to talk about what happened to you though. I was scared for so long, but it helps to talk about it. For so long I was in so much pain, but I had to keep pushing it down and down. It still hurts, but I’m slowly recreating who I am. I’m finding myself, finding my voice.
I ran 2 miles today, and will be doing 22 miles by the end of the month, and then I will continue running. Your healing journey isn’t something that gets fixed with the snap of a finger. It takes time, patience, and lots of tears. I’m in that journey, and I’m finding myself. I’ll never forget the things that happened to me, but I will be sure to tell my story for the rest of my life. Your story matters.