Jonathan O

I am a Male survivor of domestic violence.

I have two children ages 6 and 10. This is my story. My story starts December 25th 2016. The day I said Merry Christmas. After that day everything moved so fast it was almost a blur. I met the most perfect person in the world. She confided in me about abuse and trauma she endured at the hands of her ex husband. I felt so sorry for her. Had enormous sympathy. I felt so bad that I believed that her being with me a wonderful guy was just what she needed. Boy was I so wrong.

I later found out that none of what she told me was true. She was never abused by her ex husband. It was all made up. About 7 months after meeting her she flipped a switch that went from perfect partner to always having an issue with me. Constant jealousy, trust issues, and gradually picking me apart and belittling every aspect of my life. My job wasnt a good one because I worked to many hours. Everything I told her was a lie when it was the truth. Accused of wanting my ex. Accused of cheating.

I chalked it all up to damage from her abusive ex husband. So I didnt make a big deal out of it. After a little while we got engaged and talked about having a baby. I didn’t want to because I felt it was too soon. I was love bombed and made promises so i gave in. While we were trying to have a baby is when the mask started to fall off. One minute she wanted to have a baby then the next she didnt. It was a push and pull. I was being told she didnt know if it was a good idea because of me. I wouldn’t be able to give our baby the attention it needs. Having a baby was something I was being given then having it taken away like I was being punished.

And I still stayed and still tried. We had a beautiful baby girl on march 10th 2016. For a little while things were normal. But around the time our little girl was 6 months old problems came around again. I was accused of not wanting her or her kids. I was back to being accused of things I never did to the point she took her kids and our daughter and just left while i was at work.

Later i found out she moved in with a so called friend. Her excuse was our problems. Later i found out the friend was an ex boyfriend and she had been messing around with him months before she left. Of course when that didnt work out she came back. And I allowed it. After that things went downhill fast. Multiple affairs with multiple people. Complete disrespect and constantly giving me the bare minimum. While I begged for what I deserved.

In February of 2019 her abusive ex husband got out of prison. This is where things got very bad and very scary for me. She pursued getting back with him. While doing so she completely erased my existence. Silent treatments, false accusations of child abuse and emotional abuse towards her. Investigation after investigation. All taking a huge toll on my health and well being. I had a heart attack because of all the stress. 8 unfounded cys investigations. Multiple police interviews.

I had had enough. I packed my kids clothes in trash bags and got what few things of mine together and left after going through 5 discards, multiple investigations and false complaints as well as a huge smear campaign to make me the abuser. Which everyone believed. After getting out of the relationship the abuse still happens to this very day. Still false accusations and reports. Still investigations. And now the courts are used to continue abusing me. I have practically lost my daughter. And my daughter lost me because of it.

Although I was only physically abused once I have come to realize that I was abused for 7 years and I still am being abused today. I’m currently in a shelter with my two girls and trying to find the will and energy to keep fighting for my kids and my rights. It’s extremely hard for men with children to get resources and help. I spent years looking for it everywhere and getting turned down by everyone. Being a victim of abuse is a very lonely place to be. It’s even more lonely when no one will listen to you or care about what you’ve gone through.