On March 1, 2022, my ex grabbed my wrist so hard it left a bruise for days. He dragged me into the hall and shoved me into the wall so hard, I fell to the ground. From there, the only thing I remember was seeing his steel toe boot as he kicked me again and again and again.
And during this, my little girl was standing there watching. She saw the whole thing.
At some point, he got into his truck and left, though the details were blurry. I grabbed my daughter, and we went outside, hiding behind the shed as I called my brother, a police officer. He immediately advised me to call 911. This is what I did.
The cops came. They took photos. I gave them my report. They called my ex in and arrested him. I took my daughter and went to my parents’ house. After he was released, it was over. They claimed they called me and sent me a letter, but I never heard from the county, not once.
I was an idiot, and let my ex manipulate me into coming home. He said he had a heart attack. He said he was going to lose his job, and Emily and I would lose insurance. I was scared. I should have gotten a restraining order against him. I should have kicked his enabling parents out of my house, but I was weak at this time. I forgave my ex and let him back.
March 1st wasn’t the first time he put his hands on me. He spit on me, shoved me, held me by the neck and slammed my head into the basement door so hard, the door frame broke. He verbally abused me again and again in front of my daughter. Telling her that her mother was a dead ass. He took me from my family, told me if my parents ever came to the house, he would kill them. He had cameras everywhere, watching my every move, making sure I never “misbehaved.” His parents were at our house, round the clock, spying and enabling his horrible behavior. They knew what he was doing, and they never protected me. They said I was like a daughter to them, but they let their son destroy me in every way—all in front of my child.
My ex was an animal abuser. He took an unloaded gun to my dog’s head and pulled the trigger. He did this to punish me. He owns a plethora of guns, and had no shame in threatening to kill my dog.
My ex isolated me from my family, from my friends. He “punished” me for not making enough money or keeping the house clean enough, for having an attitude, for talking back. He went so low as forcing me to get on my knees and kiss his feet like a king.
On July 2, 2022, I once again called the police on him. He verbally abused me for going hiking for too long. I tried to take my daughter and leave, but he wouldn’t allow me. He turned off the internet, my phone and “said” he turned off my car insurance. He said if I left the house, he would call the police on me for driving without insurance. At this point, I was horrified. I knew, at that point, I had to get out. I tried to get my daughter from her room. I was going to take her, get in my car, and go to the fire station that was just up the road.
My ex stood in the doorway, blocking me from any hope of escape. My cell phone was turned off, but I was able to use it to call 911. So that is what I did.
The moment I began talking to the woman on the phone, my ex screamed for his parents to come up stairs. The three of them stood in the doorway as my daughter and I hovered near the closet, as the dispatcher stayed on the phone with me.
The police came, and my ex and his mother put on a show and told the police about my “outburst” and being “off my meds.” I take a typical antidepressant for anxiety, and I never go “off my meds.” The whole point was for them to paint me as hysterical and crazy to cover up the fact that HE was abusive.
The cops treated me like I was crazy. They all but forced me to “get a milk shake,” leaving my daughter with her father. As I told the cops, “I WAS NOT LEAVING WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER!” I went to McDonalds, cried for a bit and came home. I sucked it up, apologized to my ex, and did everything I could to end the fight.
I didn’t leave him that day, but I started planning my escape. I got in touch with the national abuse hotline who gave me some advice to escape. With the help of a friend, I slowly I began planning for a new life. On December 18, 2022, after a night of him verbally abusing me for spending the evening with my parents, I left him. I grabbed my daughter and said I was going to dollar general. I never came back.
I got a restraining order, I got a lawyer, and I subpoenaed all the police reports. It seemed easy, black and white. Police reports, photos, recordings of him, even his arrest report. I had documented every single time he abused me, even the time the police were not called. However, it’s not enough. The ad litem does not believe he is a threat. The judge believes I’m inconsistent, and my lawyer seems to have given up on me. The prosecuting attorney is doing nothing, despite my ex assaulting me in front of my daughter. My ex is getting everything he wants, including residential custody, since he is still living in the marital home. He is a dangerous man with a history of abuse. I do not believe my daughter is safe with him, and I am afraid that once he is out of the limelight, and there are no longer judges and ad litems’ watching him, he will transfer his anger onto my daughter.
