Reclaiming Myself: Escaping Toxicity and Embracing Freedom.

i ’ve been free for almost a year now… with the best boyfriend ever… with a puppy with him. The past 2-3 years before that were absolutely hell for me. A man took me over and took away WHO I WAS. and who i am today honestly. i’m not the same person i was before him. Colby would always cheat on me like actually. he’d leave his house at night to hangout with BOYS AND GIRLS! and leave his phone on facetime with me and act like he’s under the blanket. he even slept with someone of facetime with me and told me he had to “go help his dad”. he’d always text people even his dad would let him use his phone to cheat on me. that’s just the start of it tho. it just started with cheating… then i proceeded to leave him and i got with another guy and his name im going to leave out. but during that relationship colby was trying to get me under his arm again. and it worked. it sucked but it worked. and he was so much worse this time. he was suicidal. angry. mad. hateful twoards me! and he was just so mean. He would hit me and hold me to the ground. and grab my arms preventing me from going anywhere. he’d cover my mouth so my parents couldn’t hear my screams he’d take my phone away so i couldn’t contact anyone. and he’d touch me in places i didn’t like and do things to me i didn’t want or like or even want to try. and he’d still go out and cheat and sleep with people and text people BOYS AND GIRLS STILL!!! Colby has always been and will always be a liar. he told me he got the cheating from his dad and videos online. But the hitting and holding down. i don’t know what made him so angry during this time. maybe because someone else got the chance to have me? anyways. he’d always speed really crazily on the highway and back roads and put me in like TOP danger. but i never said a word. i always protected him and lied for him. why?…. i have no clue now. i will figure it out down my path but at this time i just don’t know why would keep lying for him. but now im done. then one bad night near christmas 2022 he cheated on me the night before and i had found out the day after. and i was mad and i told him to leave and he grabbed me and held me on the side of the bed and held me so tight and was like “please don’t leave me you can’t leave me if you leave me i’ll off myself” and i was like nah so i pulled his hair because i had no other escape. and then he pushed me to the ground and slapped me. so i got back up and slapped him back. but as i slapped him back my dad walked in and called the cops. Colby told the cops i hit him and kept hitting him and i just couldn’t say a word. i lied for him AGAIN. then we couldn’t talk for like 3 days and that was so hard because we were trauma bonded and like it sucked. because i knew he was cheating. then later on when my probation officer told me i could talk to him he told me he tried flirting with a guy at mcdonald’s. like what!!!! after all of this ur gonna do that. so i was supposed to have a court date but colby’s mom called and actually told my probation officer that he has mental issues. and he does. he’s a narcissist and a liar and a manipulative beater and so many other things he has too. then during the next few months i was thinking of an escape plan because everything i wanted to leave he’d threaten to off himself. so i was scared. and i didn’t want that. i was cutting myself during this time cuz i thought that was a good escape. which it’s not it never is. cuz now my scars remind me of the bad times. but i’m a survivor. so i came up with a plan to break up with him over the phone while he was at work so i couldn’t talk to him. he still had some stuff here so i told him you can only come get it with ur brother. and then he was like im gonna off myself. so i called the police. he got sent to a mental hospital. ONLY FOR 2 HOURS. THEY LET HIM GO BECAUSE HE LIED. then he proceeded to text me how the mental hospital was and i wasn’t responding, trying to lean off of talking to him. and then he was messaging me on my xbox after i blocked his number. and at this time i was still in highschool and cosmetology school… so i had a lot going on. then i had a voc graduation (where i did cosmetology) and that’s where i met jake (my current Boyfriend <3) so i started talking to jake with colby still messaging me EVERYDAY ON EVERYTHING MAKING NEW ACCOUNTS AND STUFF. and then me and jake hung out and colby was asking me where i was going and i was like out hunting with my friend. (yes me and my bfs first date was hunting yes it’s cute lol❤) and i didn’t go on my phone the WHOLE TIME of hanging out with jake. like the whole time! and then when he dropped me off later that night and i looked at my phone and i had like 237 missed calls and 368 text messages from colby. i blcoked him that night. on everything. and every new account. blocked. a couple months later he stole money off my card. so i got the police involved he said it wasn’t him and then he said he clicked a wrong button and the police were like just find a way to give her the money back. so colby was texting with my mom PLANNING to drop it off at my door step so i didn’t have to see him and then he came into my old work and started talking to me and handed me cash. and i was like i’m good bye thanks. and he left. then a few months later, on my birthday… he reached out and said “tabby i hope you have a good 18th birthday it’s a big one so party hard” and i just had jake message him back cuz like HOW R U STILL GETTING INTO CONTACT WITH ME. since then i have not heard from him and i believe he has a girlfriend. i hope she is not going thru the same things i was she’s from up maine and further away than i was from him so that makes me nervous. i hope she’s okay. always belive in yourself and that you can do and or get out of any bad or good situation that you don’t want to be in! you’re perfect and someone is right beside you! ❤