When I emerged from the relationship, I was unsure who I was. I didn’t know what I liked or
disliked because the abuser had made all the decisions for us. I had followed his ideas to
avoid arguing, and when I finally left, I was afraid to make even the smallest decisions.
The first step in my journey was to acknowledge the trauma I had endured. I sought therapy to
provide a safe space for processing my experiences and emotions. Professional help was crucial
in helping me navigate the complex emotions that followed my departure from the abusive
relationship.
Journaling
I began to reconnect with myself through journaling. Writing about my feelings and experiences
helped me understand my emotions and track my progress. Each entry became a step toward
reclaiming my identity and voice. I found comfort in putting pen to paper, expressing thoughts
and fears I had kept bottled up. Journaling also allowed me to identify patterns in my emotions
and reactions, helping me to better understand myself and the impact of the abuse.
Hobbies and Interests
Once I was out of the abusive relationship, I was free to try some new things. I decided to try
new activities that I had always been curious about but never had the chance to explore. This led
me to discover a passion for karaoke, spoken word poetry, and fashion. These activities not only
brought joy but also helped me rediscover my voice and creativity. I started attending karaoke
nights, where I could express myself through music and enjoy the company of others in a fun and
supportive environment. Performing spoken word poetry became a powerful way for me to
articulate my experiences and emotions, turning pain into art and finding strength in my words.
Rediscovering Personal Preferences
As I explored my interests, I remembered that I loved large dangly earrings and the color pink.
Without the abuser’s disapproval, I was free to wear those items without fear of criticism.
Embracing these preferences was an act of reclaiming my identity and expressing my true self. I
also experimented with different styles and trends, discovering what made me feel confident and
unique.
Setting Personal Goals
Since I was no longer busy solving the abuser’s problems, I was open to start working on
improving my own life. I began by setting small, achievable goals that were born out of
necessity. Initially, these goals were simple but significant steps toward reclaiming my
independence. I focused on separating my assets and life from the abuser, which included
moving his items out of the house. This was a symbolic and practical step in reclaiming my
space and autonomy. Redecorating and replacing furniture were also important parts of my
journey. These changes helped me create an environment that reflected my tastes and
preferences, making my home a safe and comforting space.
Practicing Self-Care
Prioritizing self-care was essential for my recovery. Since I no longer lived with someone who
questioned my every move, regular exercise became a part of my daily routine. I was also able to
get sufficient sleep since I no longer lived with someone who regularly woke me up in the
middle of the night. Living free of criticism also allowed me to engage in activities
that brought joy and relaxation, such as reading, music, and spending time in nature. Doing
things I enjoyed helped me begin to reconnect with myself.
Embracing Independence
Without the abuser draining my financial resources, I worked towards financial stability by
learning to budget and save money. For the first time in many years, I experienced what it felt
like to not live paycheck to paycheck and to be able to save.
Making decisions independently, both big and small, reinforced my confidence and sense of
autonomy, empowering me to shape my future.
Through this journey, I discovered that I am resilient, creative, and capable of achieving my
dreams. I learned to love and respect myself, paving the way for healthier relationships and a
fulfilling life.
If you’re on a similar path, remember to give yourself time to heal, explore new interests, and
reconnect with who you truly are. The journey might be challenging, but it’s also incredibly
rewarding.
If you found this blog post helpful, feel free to share it with others who might benefit from it.
Remember, you are not alone on this journey. There is a community of survivors and supporters
ready to help you rediscover yourself and build a brighter future.
By Iris P Btsadv Blog Team
