I was abused my entire life by my mother and my twin sister to the point I blacked out from pain.
I attempted suicide about 5-6 times and survived all of it.
As I got older my mother left us and took our younger brother with her to a whole different state.
My sister continued the physical/emotional/mental abuse after my mother left.
She made fun of me
Read my diary and laughed at me
Have all of her bf call me crazy and bipolar even though I was never diagnosed.
She banned me from learning how to
Drive
Cook
Work a washing/dryer machine
From building my own credit
From letting put my name on any of our apartment/cars
She kept my income that I work for 10 years for and didn’t allow me access to it.
Claiming that she’ll never leave me like our mother did but I better stop being a depressed person or else she have to leave because she hate depressed people.
I was raped two years ago and was traumatized. Instead of consoling me she told me I deserved it and told her now husband I “lie/exaggerated”
Last year on April she left me because her man told her to. The last 3 years he have been with her he convinced her to leave me on several occasions because he want to have her to himself. He would always laugh and made fun of me and she lets him.
I never had a voice. I always shut my mouth no matter what happen.
I told her if she left me again I would never beg for her back like I have for the last 27 years. So she left. She took all of my savings. Thousands…. I was grateful to have a bf who was there for me. It was so hard to start over with absolutely nothing. It like I didn’t even exist. I depended on her so much I couldn’t even rent an apartment because I have zero credit. I don’t even know how to drive and felt bad my partner have to drive me everywhere. I felt like a burden
Things escalated. My sister is used to me begging for her and after a month of not doing that she defamed me online and reached out to my rapist and all of my ex’s to slut shame me when I’ve never cheated or hurt anyone. Everyone think I’m this crazy girl now… even then I still didn’t respond to her post because I don’t believe in tearing women down.
She made my aunt kick me out of my home and help my aunt get me evicted. It got so bad the police told me to get a restraining order. Out of spite she file one on me the very next day. My sister lied under oath and even took a picture of the same knife I cut myself with. She wrote on the protection order that
“She threaten me with a knife to kill HERSELF, I’m scare of her due to her bipolar outburst history”
When I was never ever diagnosed.
You read that correctly. She written down and attached a photo of a knife on the floor that I used on myself along with a photo of a text exchange between her and her husband in clear text saying
“She tried to kill herself, hurry.”
But the judge overlooked that. She won by default because I didn’t have a car to drive to court that day and she was also able to afford an attorney due to the 100k she stole.
So I lost my case. I thought even though she won by default it still mean she can’t contact me. Wrong.
She and my one of my ex bf teamed up to successfully get me fired.
She boasted online the same day she won by default in court claiming I lost because I’m a liar and Is very abusive and I’m dating a drug addict.
Then every month after she continues to defame/slander me on Facebook and have everyone here in Missouri as well as people I’ve grown up with/dated/friends/people she doesn’t even personally know hate me and told her to make sure to put me in jail….
Then in October she posted my nudes online.
She got away with everything. With my money that she stole, her abuse to both me and animals, lying in court, slanders, harassment , she’s relentless and til this day she is still posting about me online. Even went as far as making fun of me because I have nothing and my newly low income life.
She boast about her giant new home and her 5 new dogs with her husband as I sit at home barely able to pay rent and all I could do is cry because she stole my life from me without remorse. I could never do that to someone and still be able to sleep at night. And her husband encourages and supported her throughout.
All of my ex broke up with me because I always put her first. They all told me they felt like the third wheel. I always put family first. But she didn’t hesitate to leave me for good when I told her I can’t beg for her anymore/when her man told her to ditch me.
I was finally diagnosed this year with complex ptsd, gad, and of course severe depression and constant suicidal ideation. I’ve lost 20lb since last year and is now only weighing 70lb.
I don’t know what to do anymore. All I do is care for people and put them before me, but I always end of having people use me and abuse me. I want to run but I don’t drive. I have no family here except one but I don’t want to bother them.
My story gets even more complex than this. So much f*** up crap that you won’t believe. I feel so lost and hopeless and this virus is making me feel more hopeless. I feel trap.
