| I guess you could say I’ve had to deal with some sort of abuse my whole life, rather it be mental or physical. I mean I could probably write a book. My father died when I was only 4 so me and my two sisters were raised with just our mother. Growing up I can remember watching my mother in abusive situations. So maybe it’s true the cycle repeats itself. I started dating at just 15 and by the time I was 16 I was pregnant. I was pretty much kicked out of the house to fend for myself. So of course I ended up living with the boyfriend and eventually got pregnant again. It seemed to be looked down on because I wasn’t married so I was talked into marriage, it seemed to be the right thing to do. Anyways by the time I was 25 I had a baby girl. Don’t get me wrong I don’t regret my children at all there my whole world. But I was a baby having babies. At 28 I again found out I was pregnant only this time it was twins girls. I totally skipped my teen years and had to grow up rather I was ready or not. Throughout the marriage my husband started drinking alot and become mentally abusive. He would make cow sounds at me and call me fat. Tell me Noone would ever want me with 5 kids. My self esteem was bad I actually believed all of this he said it so much. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I ended the marriage. I stared to wonder what else was out there and discovered on line chat. We’ll that boosted my self esteem, I mean I was getting all kinds of attention. I met this guy clear across the map from me and we talked for quite some time until he decided to get on a bus and come meet me. Six months later me and my children were going back with him. He seemed so loving and gentle always complimenting me. Boy was I wrong. It wasn’t long before mental and physical abuse started. He controlled my every move. He wouldn’t work. He got into drugs was in and out of jail all the time. But by this time I was truly in love with this man. He seemed to have two sides the sweet loving side and this mean controlling side. He would make me do things I didn’t want to do, or he would hit me. I can remember being drug by my hair, slapped, backhand, punched, one time he freaked out on me slammed me to the ground and was choking me. He would throw things at me. And he would watch football on Sunday’s I’d dread it because I’d be walking around on egg shells hoping his team would win, because if they didn’t my night was gonna be hell. One time he took me to a pizza place for dinner and then suddenly decides oh we have to make this money back and try to make me steal something, I refused. And he punched me in the nose, it hurt so bad all I could do was cry and cry. My nose was three times it’s size I blew blood chucks out of my nose several times. And he’d say see what you made me do. Later down the line I was told by a doctor that i had broken my nose. I’ve had a few black eyes. I never would go to a hospital or call the police because he’d threaten what he’d do to me. When someone is abusing you, you tend to believe it. He would say you ever leave me there’s no where you can hide I will find you. And I’ll never let someone else be with you. His famous words Id kill a motherfucker over you. I was scared to leave. I remember one time he chased me to the bathroom but I got the door locked before he could get me. He said I’ll be sitting here when you come out and when you do I’m gonna beat the hell out of you. Omg I don’t even know what I did but with him it didn’t take much. I stayed in that bathroom all night praying to God to get me out of this, I was so scared. Early that morning I thought surely he’s asleep so I creep the door open and there he was he jerked me out of there and just started beating on me. All I could do was cry and tell him to stop. But I stayed 10 years I lived in this hell, and let me tell you it is a living hell… one day I decided I was gonna sneak out and leave for good. And when he was gone I did just that I grabbed my cloths and I was gone. I moved to a different town a few months had went by I was so happy I was finally free. Until he found me and the controlling and abuse started all over again. I had to sneak away from him again, only this time I went to the women’s crisis center she got a paper with a pyramid on it, kinda like the food pyramid, but instead of food it had abusive tactics. It was like 10 or 12 abusive situations on it. She said I want you to tell me how many of these he has done to you. I’m sitting there reading this pyramid and I broke down all I could do was cry. She said how many, I said all of them! She helped me get a restraining order against him and the police removed him from my home. I have never seen him again. He tried emailing and sending hateful messages but I blocked him and ended any contact. It was the best decision, I thank God every day for such a blessing. It was definitely a lesson learned. By Survivor |
The Journey of a Domestic Violence Survivor: Healing and Resilience
By Survivor The life of a Survivor of Domestic ViolenceThe repair of the abuse is never repaired because the damage is too unrepairable, mental or physical abuse stays with the survivor for life.Future relationships will be affected by the triggers of the survivor and the relationship will usually suffer, to...
