I’m going to warn you before you start reading, there is r@&e, violence, satani, abuse, animal abuse and attempted murder in my story. Please read with caution.
I met my ex fiancé Jaren when I was 18 and pregnant. He went to school with my cousin, and dated her close friend. So I thought he would be a good person, a safe person.
We went on our first date, we saw a movie and went out to eat. He was very charming, and didn’t care that I was pregnant. I was very lonely and just wanted to be loved. My baby’s father was not in the picture.
I had been alone my whole pregnancy and didn’t have really any close family, no friends.
He began love bombing me, and I actually felt a little uncomfortable, and started feeling weird for dating since I was pregnant, I was worried what other people would think. I told jaren that I didn’t want to see him anymore, and he made me feel bad for how I was feeling, he manipulated me into continuing to see him.
We had been dating for a couple months and then I gave birth. I had an emergency cesarean and was in the hospital for 2 weeks from preeclampsia, and was at risk for a seizure.
And Jaren was there for everything, he came and saw me at the hospital and brought me food. He didn’t have a car, but he took the bus in the rain, and said that he would step up and be my son’s dad, he promised me all these things.
So I let him move in with me and my newborn son, thinking that he was an angel. I was so young and naïve.
We all lived with my dad, my dad is an alcoholic and works a lot so he wasn’t really ever home. He went out of town for work a lot. My dad liked Jaren, they got along, he offered him a job, and then that’s when Jaren started drinking a lot, and he changed.
4 months into him living with us, his behavior changed. He became very controlling, he would make comments about my body, that I needed to start working out. My hair had always been black and he wanted it blonde. He started to control my appearance. He would cook for me and if I didn’t eat it, he would scream at me in force me to eat, he would throw things and break things. Every time he would get upset, or hit me, he would bring home, expensive, jewelry, and gifts. Real diamonds, flowers. He proposed to me after we had been together for five months.
He would make me change my clothes, if he didn’t like what I was wearing. He didn’t like that I would breast-feed, he told me that I liked breast-feeding that it was a perverted thing. I would have to sneak and breast-feed my infant child, he wouldnt let me pick my son up when he would cry, and he would make me leave him in the crib to cry. Jaren didn’t like when my son would cry it would make him very mad.
I would sneak to pick my son up in the middle of the night and if jaren found out he would scream at me and force me to lay down with him.
I wasn’t aloud to work, or leave the house without my fiancé. He liked traditional relationships, where the woman would stay at home and take care of the home, and the man would work. I wasn’t really allowed to make friends. I wasn’t really allowed to reach out to the family that I had
If I didn’t get up and cook him breakfast at 4am when he would go to work in the morning , he would rip me out of bed and carry me over his shoulder out to the living room, and make me cook him breakfast and sit with him on the couch, and lace up his boots for work.
One day he brought home a shotgun, and he told me that it was loaded and would be under our bed. He said, if I ever tried to leave him, that he would kill me.
If I didn’t want to have sex, he would take it . Even if I said no. And the times that I would say no he would start crying and lay on the floor. And it would make me feel bad and then I would end up having sex with him.
Jaren was also into witchcraft, I am a strong Christian, and he didn’t like when I would talk about my faith. It would make him very upset.
He would do blood magic and cut himself.
There is one incident, that he told me if I did not participate in his ritual and cut him, that he would hurt me.
And I told him I would not do that, and he tried to strangle me , and take my life.
Then he would start crying on the floor in the fetal position. He would always manipulate me and scare me into staying. I didn’t have anywhere to go with a baby, I didn’t have any money and I didn’t have a car or know how to drive. I had been so isolated that I started to have agoraphobia. And we’re scared to leave the house.
Jaren brought me home a German shepherd puppy, because I would always tell him that I was so lonely when I would be home alone with just a baby when he would be at work. But there was rules I had to obey. Jaren said I had to kennel train my puppy. But his form of kennel training was abuse. He said you have to make the dogs submit to you. And I was only allowed to take that dog out of the kennel to go to the bathroom and to eat.
I wasn’t allowed to take the dog out of the kennel, even when he was at work or he would find out and get very upset with me, and punish me. Jaren would always find out if I did not obey him while he was at work.
The puppy was about 10 months old , and my puppy, Finnur didn’t like Jaren. He wouldn’t listen to him. And one day he tried to take my puppy out of the kennel. And he bit Jaren. He begin strangling my puppy in front of me. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t stop. My puppies eyes begin bulging, poop and piss begin coming out of him. And I could just hear him crying, and I couldn’t stop it. He begin to hit my puppy against the wall in the floor. And then took the puppy out to the garage and wouldn’t let me in.
10 minutes went by and Jaren left . And I went into the garage and found my dog. He was still alive. And Could barely move.
I called my dad and told him what had happened . He took us to the vet. And my puppy had internal bleeding. Broken ribs. And hemorrhaging eyes.
I wish I could say this is the end of my story but it’s not. Jaren came back for me and my son. Jaron said he was on medication, and that he was getting help. My dad let him take us. And I didn’t have anyone to step up and protect me and my son. I had been isolated for so long. I felt like I didn’t have a choice . Jeren would always find out where I was no matter what, or where I went.
He brought us to his grandpa’s apartment . And said that we were going to stay there now.
He made me barricade, my son and My Son wouldn’t stop crying. But Jaren wanted to have sex. And I told him to please let me just feed him and he would stop crying, just to wait till he went to sleep.
And he told me if My Son didn’t stop crying that he was going to kill him . My son was only one years old. And I begged him to just let us leave, and he wouldn’t. That’s when Jaren bagan attacking me, I wouldn’t let him kill my son.
His 75 year old grandpa heard what was going on, and he opened the door to see his grandson, strangling me. And I begged his grandpa to take My Son. I didn’t want jaren to take my sons life. That’s when He snapped on his grandpa, he chased his grandpa into the living room and started strangling him.
That’s when I saw my chance to take my son and flee the apartment. I was naked, and I went out the front door, but it was on the top floor, and I tried to make it to the neighbors across. And before I could get there, I felt his hand on my shoulder, dragging us back into the apartment. I had been screaming for help when I was outside.
He told me I would never get to leave. I curled on the floor with my son. Jaren yanked me off the floor and started screaming and assaulting me. I tried to comfort Jaren so that he would stop hurting me
And then i heard banging on the front door and it was the police. My neighbors heard me screaming for help when I went outside.
My ears begin ringing, and my sons crying got really quiet and everything got really quiet. All I could hear was ringing.
And I felt like we were finally free when they arrested him .
He was on the news in Oregon for what he did.
Back in 2018.
I spoke in front of the jury, And got to tell my story. But he only got six months in jail, he was charged with domestic violence, strangulation and animal abuse. and was forced to go to a mental health treatment.
I had a restraining order for over four years, he would contact me on Facebook and had made over 60 different profiles. I had to change my number three times. And I had to move out of state because he would still find us. And I could never prove he violated his restraining order, because there is never enough proof.
He stoped contacting me 2 years ago. I hope he didn’t find a new victim.
I’ve been married now for two years to a loving husband , and My Son is almost 7 now and doesn’t remember anything. I am still healing from what we went through
