Written by: Brittney, Survivor
I’m Brittney, and I left my attacker two years ago. It was a relationship of 7 years. It was a ‘saving’ one. What I mean by this is that he saved me from the ex that used to beat and burn me and force me to sleep with people. I thought he was my knight in shining armor. Come to find out, he was just like my ex with certain things.
Our relationship started great, no fights or anything. I moved into my own place, and everything was great. He used to say all the right things at first, but two months later I got a call that his ex was at my apartment. She named everything in my apartment right down to the boxes in the corner. I confronted him and was told that he would never do that. Even his parents chimed in, so I believed him.
Soon, I found out I was pregnant with our oldest child. Every emotion I could think of was going through me. I remember that the pregnancy was good. We had our fights and arguments but nothing too bad. After our son was born, we moved to an apartment together, and that’s when it started. We would fight. I’d tell him to leave, and he would hold me down, strangle me, and scream in my face. If I yelled for help, he’d sit behind me and hold me as he covered my mouth.
I remember one time when our oldest was five or six months old, and I was washing dishes. I asked for him to hand me the bottle by the high chair. Mind you, we were arguing earlier that day. I picked up our son and held him in my arms. While I was getting ready to make another bottle, I had turned around to a full glass bottle being thrown at my head – with my child still in my hands. He went to jail, but I took him back time and time again.
After our daughter was born, I left and moved away for six months. It took him that six months to get me back with him. The final straw was three kids later. The mental and physical abuse. The spitting in my face. My children were getting older, and they were picking up on what was going on. Their behavior was getting worse, and I finally had enough.
The house, the car – everything was in my name. I finally decided he was going to get out of my house or I’d be six feet under sooner than I wanted. I went to the sheriff’s office and told them he needed to leave. Then, I went home and asked him to go. I told him that we couldn’t keep doing it. He got in my face and cussed me out, punched me, spit on me, called me names, and locked me out of the house in the cold. He finally left after I had him removed.
It’s been two years. Two years of freedom, two years of getting my life back, two years of seeing my children grow and become different. I finally decided to give dating a chance. My boyfriend is amazing, and the kids love him. He knows my past, and he knows I’m vocal now. I never knew the right way to be treated. I cut my hours back at work. I get to spend more time with my family. My kids can do sports or anything they want. Life does get better once you leave what you thought was everything. It took me what seemed like forever, but I know looking back now how toxic it was.
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