My message but choose not to post a picture.
I met my abuser back in the winter of 2018. I thought he was amazing. He listened. He didn’t seem like all of the other guys who just wanted sex. He broke up with me 3 months later. Fast forward to April of this year, I thought I would just send a message to see how he was handling Covid-19. We started talking again. I promised myself that when he wanted to see me that things would be different and I would go slowly this time. It started out slow. But then he asked what would it take for me to move in with him. And I said I would just have to get my cat and my stuff out of storage. Pretty simple. So I thought. I was blinded by the light of not seeing what he was doing as I willingly got rid of half of my personal belongings because he didn’t ‘like’ them nor want them in his house. This went from clothing to kitchen supplies, etc!! I was not allowed to keep anything out in the open in the house but could have my own bathroom with very small 3 drawers, and 2 bedrooms to place my clothes in a closet – because I didn’t have a dresser or furniture to display them in. I thought nothing of it. But when I started to put my kitchen spices, food away in the turn table he told me that I was bringing too much food into the house (when he practically had none). When I would go grocery shopping for the both of us (when I made less than he did) he would eat almost all of it within 24-48 hours when it should have lasted a week or more! Still, I am blindsided to this, as I had never lived with a guy before until then. Fast forward to August when I am supposed to go back into work. I come home (an hour drive there and back) and the first thing he says to me is ‘There’s cat hair everywhere!’ Well when you have a cat, yes that will happen. Then he asks me not even 10 minutes after I am home if I will give him a back massage and what was for dinner. And that why didn’t I say anything about the house being picked up and the curtains opened. Later that night I had gone to bed in a different room to get some sleep since I was going back into the office. I heard a noise come from my cat that wasn’t normal. I rush out to find out what was wrong with him and he claims that he picked him up wrong. When I take my cat into my arms, he immediately put his head down into the crevice of my arm and stayed close to me. I knew then that something wasn’t right. I then said I was moving out because I didn’t trust him anymore after injuring my cat. I wake up the next morning to leave for work and he had taken the garage door opener out of my car, took the garage door code opener off of the garage. When I get to work he tells me that he wants me out when I got home and that he has his own eviction paper filled out. I told him that legally I have 30 days to move and actually longer than that since I was legally having mail delivered there. I told him I needed time to gather my stuff and to find a stable, permanent housing and it wasn’t something that could be done quickly. That Friday, he started messaging my dad and my best friend without my knowledge. He texted me and said that I should concentrate on moving my stuff to storage like my dad said to. I was frustrated that he went behind my back to talk to my family about having me leave – when there was nothing had done wrong other than make his life easier and better. (Cleaned up the yard, cooked healthy dinners, exercising, etc) I sat down that Friday night opposite end of him and asked him what he said to my dad. He said he couldn’t remember. I told him that he was lying because he had just spoken to him hours ago. I gave him 3 chances to tell me. The third time he stood up, walked over to me and put his fist straight to my nose. I immediately bounced up, with my phone and ran out to the neighbor. Who told me to contact the police. The police tried to engage with him, but he had locked every window and screen door. I was told by neighbors and friends that I need to find somewhere to stay til my parents come help me move. I mentioned that my cat and my belongings were in the house and needed them including my PsA medication. The police tried to get in but to no avail. He threw my purse and keys out the door (with the house key taken off). I tried calling and texting asking to let me in to gather enough clothing for 2 days and my medication. He claimed that he wasn’t there (but was) and that I needed to go elsewhere because he didn’t want to see me. An hour later, he had thrown a pair of jeans, sweatshirt, socks and tennis shoes out on the driveway. I told him that I didn’t ask for that and I needed my bathroom supplies as well. He emptied everything into one of my blanket baskets with a shower curtain & liner and 4 rolls of toilet paper along with my bathroom toiletries on the driveway. He is not mentally stable, let alone sane. The day he injured my cat was the day I was scared for my life.
I literally lost everything that I own including my peace of mind and safety for myself, let alone my best friend whom he tries to contact! The last thing I ever wanted to do was rebuild my life over again at the age of 45 and to temporarily live with my parents who are also emotionally abusive and controlling to me.
Before this all of this happened, last fall, I was temporarily living with my parents until an apartment was available. My father told me one night that he wanted to divorce me from the family and called me mentally retarded. If that isn’t enough to emotionally bury someone in a casket, I am not sure what else is. ????????
I just want to live quiet life alone again, by myself. ????????
Notice: The names in this story are fictitious to protect the request for anonymity.
