What Men Need to Know When Dating a Survivor of Domestic Violence

By: Clint Schiller

Dating a Survivor of Domestic Abuse can be frustrating, difficult, irritating, complexing, and confusing; if you try and fix them!

Connection, love

  • PATIENCE – is the first key attribute to have when dating a domestic violence survivor. They are usually not very willing to let you in.
  • UNDERSTANDING – not about what they have been through (this helps) but the kind that you know they have things they are going to need to work through in their own time.
  • RESPECT – Some things that may not seem very big of a deal in a normal relationship may be a huge trigger for them. Don’t disregard it.
  • YOUR MINDSET – Long-term Outlook- They may never fully get over their domestic violence incident.
  • STRONG – Not Physically, but Mentally, Emotionally, and physiologically. You cannot be faint of heart!
  • STABLE – You need to be consistent with your actions, words, behavior, and affection with them.
  • CARING – Sometimes words are not what they need. A Hug, kiss on the cheek, rub on back, holding their hand, wink, or just being nearby is all they need.
  • GOOD LISTENER – Make Eye contact, hold their hand, repeat back what they said. Acknowledge what they may be feeling or thinking.
  • APOLOGETIC – You are going to mess up when dating someone who has been through DV. If you haven’t been through it, you will never truly grasp the entire phenomenon of being a victim of DV!
break the silence against domestic violence
BreakTheSilenceDV

More Survivor Stories

survivor

I’m A Survivor of Terrible Violence

By Survivor Jani **The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse. Names have been changed to protect all involved.** I met my previous partner when I was 18, and he was 27. We got married pretty fast because I got pregnant with our daughter. He was...

beatings

Finding Peace After Endless Beatings

By Survivor Brittany **The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse. Names have been changed to protect all involved.** I met my ex about 6 months after I had my first born son. He was everything I had ever wanted in a partner, or so he...

sexual abuse

Sexual Abuse to Trap Me

By Survivor Lynn **The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and abuse. Names have been changed to protect all involved.** At the age of 20, I was introduced to an older man whom I eventually started dating. We had only been dating for several months...