Even though I am scared that in writing this victim impact statement, knowing it will inevitably bring harm to me, to my life, possibly my children, I would like the court and judge to know about me and what I have suffered and what my life is like, because the painful and dangerous events that took place resulting Adam Wesbury to be on probation, the after effect hasn’t gone away and it was mostly because I was silenced, threatened, manipulated, conned and brainwashed for 5 plus years. While I may never get the justice my children and I deserve, I will no longer be silenced. My soon to be ex-husband has found many ways over the years manipulating the system, prosecuting attorney’s office, while pretending to be getting the appropriate help, therapy and conned me into giving our marriage another chance and to not pursue divorce. Every time I went back, the abuse progressed, the man I believed in my heart, my soul, that was meant to love me, protect me, keep me safe, did everything but that. I blamed myself for many years, thinking I deserved it all because that man I once loved made me believe I was a broken soul who weren’t deserving of love, not his and not my Childrens, therefore they would all be better off without me. The broken me believed his every convincing words. And I lost my soul to him. I wear invisible scars every day of my life, I have lost a huge part of myself in that emotional, psychological and physical abusive marriage. After many failed attempts of seeking justice for the illegal and inhumane behavior from my husband, I had to live a life where protecting myself and my kids turned me into someone I despised, I was disgusted at the woman I saw in the mirror, a woman who found a tool to ensure her safety, appeasing him sexually guaranteed no harm since many restraining orders failed to do so. Since 2017 I have reached out to his probation officer countless times, begging and pleading to help me after I became aware of his methamphetamine usage, no one listened, no one believed, so nothing was done about it. January 2018, Adam held his unregistered gun to my head after almost breaking my nose, I still have the red t-shirt that wears my blood. He then fired what sounded like 3 shots, my ear popped then there was an annoying ringing but I kept my eyes closed while repeating over and over “let your will be done”. I don’t know how much time has passed after getting back home. But when I got out of the van, embarrassingly I say this, but I had peed myself. My teenager opened the front door and he walked in passed her laughing when she asked what had happened. I will never forget the look of horror on her face as I ran up to my bathroom to get cleaned up. Two days later after he left town, I immediately packed up the kids and I and we left the state to Arkansas, but after threats from him and his family, 3 weeks later I returned with the kids. Not even a day later, we had another incident at the Walmart parking lot where he held me at gun point to get in the van with him, in the presence of the children, but the teenager managed to get away to call for help, and he eventually kicked me out the van to go after her while he drove away with my younger 4 kids, and he then went to hide the gun but one of the kids were able to tell the cops where to find it and it was later recovered along with shell casings he fired 3 weeks prior. I informed the police about his drug usage and his PO but nothing came of it. Which then put me back into that cycle with a man I was fearful of but tried everything humanly possible to keep the peace, but there wasn’t any peace. Everything I have written so far have all been documented, and reported to CPD, True North and even a detective in Arkansas. I spent so many years feeling crazy, blaming myself for the abuse, and no one would listen or believe he was heavily using meth and while on probation.
2 / 2
August 2019, I made a conscience decision that I no longer wanted to survive, but I wanted to live and fight for my life, my sanity and me and my children’s safety, so ever since there has been no looking back, I obtained a restraining order (19BA-FC01116), I filed for divorce, (19BA-FC02096), I have been passionate and driven to heal, grow and then help the next person. It’s been almost a year the children and I have all been in therapy, trauma based. While hope gets me through most days, I have my children who inspires me to be the healthiest and happiest version of myself, and truth be known, what seems like a fairytale ending for me, getting out alive, I’m left with chronic PTSD, anxiety, mild depression, and hyper vigilance. And my abuser gets another chance, a reset button where he was able to erase all history of 5 plus years of abuse, no accountability, just a new home and new family, step son age 10, and based on the proof I will be attaching to this, his drug test results while on probation, I can’t help but to worry if they will be his next victims.
I thank you so much for the opportunity I was never given before, to finally be heard.
