Being a retired Police Officer and being trained on how to respond to domestic violence calls, I never thought that three years after retirement that I would fall victim to the hands of an abuser. But here I was, newly married, fighting for my life.
How could this happen? What could I have done wrong? These were just some of the questions that plagued my mind after my new husband, with his fist, punched me in the face. I almost blacked out. I had a swollen jaw that I thought was broken and couldn’t chew for weeks.
My training as an officer could not have prepared me for this nor the mental, verbal and economical abuse along with physical abuse that I suffered. After a year and a half of abuse and after about the seventh time leaving, finally, I said; “enough!”. I left. But not before being thrown into our bedroom wall and losing two front teeth.
Then I remembered the card I used to give out to victims of Domestic Violence when I was an officer. Shamefully and broken in spirit, I called Women Against Abuse. I could have stayed with family members but I feared him finding me as he had made many threats. Women Against Abuse offered me a room at one of their safe houses. It was there that I began to understand the ugliness of Domestic Violence. It was there that I found out that IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. Right there in the safe house I began to know through counseling, “my worth”. They began to send me out speaking. This wasn’t frightening to me as I am also a Minister and an Author of 10 Inspirational books. Therefore, speaking in front of people was natural. However, this time was different. I had missing teeth and low self-esteem. I went although I was afraid, embarrassed and ashamed. But as I began to speak, I could see the faces of women who looked like me. Black Women, White Women, Hispanic and Asian Women. All who have suffered and some who were still suffering in abusive relationships. This was my opportunity to encourage them to get the help they need and I was honored. Since then, I am now an Ambassador for Women in Transition and Speaker for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. My story and the step of Faith to speak for those who cannot, has changed many lives, including mine. I pray that my story will encourage someone that you too can have a beautiful and blessed life after Domestic Violence.
