I am speaking out on my experiences with domestic violence, hoping it helps someone out there.
The relationship started off like a dream , we had knew each other from work and “ clicked” well so I thought.
Around 6 months into the relationship I noticed the “
Charm” starting to wear off . Arguments about “ work” that previously were complimented to myself from him of how hard I work( we both our in construction)had turned into little bits of jealousy tifs and controlling comments . It was now 6 months in where he didn’t agree with my work. Arguments over men and who I spoke to and what I spoke too them about ,even ones he knew very well . I had brushed it off , going by the “ outside”impression he was presenting as just “ caring”
We had enjoyed a few holidays went on some trips had a good time , but these things lingered and only got worse. I had gotten pregnant after 1/12 being together it wasn’t planned I had hard time processing it and felt overwhelmed. He had put pressure on me about what the next step
Should be, basically planning it for me.
Things dwindled down hill after giving birth and moving my oldest child and myself 45 minutes away from our “ home” to live with him and his older son.
Throughout the time being together items or incidents never “ matched” I had realized after leaving for the 6-7 time he had been using gaslighting the whole relationship about things at work, telling me people were saying bad things about me – when I confronted him he would say they’ll just deny it. At one point I had thought I was going crazy. Arguments wen just telling him I was unhappy and felt trapped there he would go ballistic throwing stuff swearing the nastiest of words in the beginning I would just cry it was literally after the baby he had told us to leave ( me n kids) I had left and because we shared a child it was years I would go down a cycle of unhealthy choices with him – meaning from the outside looking now I can see gaslighting using fear – having to coparent- obligation when he’d hurt himself n I felt need to try help him/ guilt- which wen one persons rips ur self esteem and using can be a severely abusive receive for your mental health.
I’ve never seen a man capable of abusing a women’s mind so grossly to benefit his own needs( trying to get custody using pas card)which I feel the laws should change on using that when there’s history of d v but then again it is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE by the abuser to get the power/ control in the situation . I feel very strongly that emotional and psychological abuse is dangerous to ones mind I hope one day soon more attention gets focused on those parts of dv. No one should live in fear of repercussions for speaking about abuse.my story started out like a dream listen to your GUT don’t let anyone bully you or tell you how you feel .
God bless
Notice: The names in this story are fictitious to protect the request for anonymity.
