By Survivor Sally
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse, recounting their story. Descriptions and details may be too graphic for some. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
From Abuse to Healing: My Story of Survival and Freedom
My story, like many others, is one of pain, resilience, and redemption. I share it so that someone else—someone living through the same nightmare—knows it is not your fault and that you can survive.
When I became pregnant, my father kicked me out, leaving me pregnant, homeless, and desperate. My ex-boyfriend Johnny appeared and said he would marry me and raise my baby. I believed his promise of love and security. But on our wedding night, everything changed.
He slapped me.
I told him no one—not even my own father—had ever hit me, and I wouldn’t tolerate it. But I stayed. I believed his apology. I believed his words more than his actions. That was the beginning of the cycle of abuse—violence, apologies, and promises that never lasted.
From Abuse to Healing: The Violence That Followed
Over the next several years, the abuse worsened. Drugs and alcohol fueled his rage. I tried to keep myself sober for the sake of my unborn child, but the violence became constant. He would beat me and force me to cover bruises so no one would see.
When our baby girl was born, I thought things might change. Instead, they got worse. He drank again and came home angry. One night, just after I’d come home from the hospital, he forced himself on me. I said no—again and again—but he didn’t stop.
People like to say a husband can’t rape his wife. That is a lie.
I ended up pregnant again. My body hurt, my spirit broke, but I decided to keep my baby. By the end of that year, I gave birth to another little girl. I thought contraception would keep me safe—if not from him, then at least from another pregnancy—but nothing could protect me from his violence.
Living in Fear and Numbness
Johnny’s drinking and cocaine use never stopped. When he wasn’t using, he was angry. When he was high, he was cruel. I turned to drugs myself—not to party, but to survive. Being high dulled the pain, physically and emotionally.
But it came at a cost. I started losing pieces of myself. My daughters and I lived in fear until one night when he beat me so brutally that there was blood pooling around us. My four-year-old ran across the street for help. That was the night the police caught him—and the night I finally ran for my life.
Recovery, Faith, and New Beginnings
Escaping didn’t mean the pain ended. I carried it inside me for years. I spent 22 years struggling with addiction, trying to numb the pain, the guilt, the hatred I felt toward myself.
Eventually, I met another man. He wasn’t abusive; he helped me take care of my girls. But I still hadn’t healed. It wasn’t until I turned back to God that real change began. I finally learned that healing meant forgiving myself, not the man who broke me, but the woman who thought she wasn’t worth saving.
Through faith, I found freedom.
You Can Recover Too
Domestic violence is a cycle. It begins with apologies, promises, and false hope—but unless the abuser gets sober and truly changes, the violence continues. The “honeymoon phase” always ends in fear and pain.
If you’re living in that cycle now, please—get out while you can. There are people who care, who can help you find safety and peace. You do not have to face this alone.
Reach out to breakthesilencedv.org. They provide survivor-led support, healing programs, and empowerment for those escaping abuse.
Freedom begins with one call, one prayer, and one decision—you deserve to live without fear.
