he broke a door in rage but told our kids the wind did it. he told the court it was an old door and broke easily. he snatched away our car. he told kids repeatedly that I am a horrible person and took away all their money and pressed kids what to show and tell the judge during their interview. It feels errie the forceful way he wants to be in control, to the extent my reality is being rewritten by him, my personhood annihilated. our kids personhood annihilated. he does not leave marks when he hit – he hits daughter on her head. when he failed to get custody and I reported his abuse he avoided seeing the children, even avoids talking to them on the phone , and claim that I had alienated the children to the extent they refuse him, in another bid to change custody. It is unbelievable how the judge continues to sympathise with poor dads despite how hard evidence proves that all actions or withholding of benefits came from the father. he will not leave us alone nor coparent with kids in mind. He used the kids and legal court to create chaos and withheld money from me, which would have been resources to counter the legal proceedings he use to bombard me with. his lawyers are relentless in misrepresenting facts and twisting stories. it is abusive to read what they write, court system is abrasive and judges and counsellors do not read the signs of an abusive dynamics. they give me more credit for holding power than I have in real life. they do not understand the debilitating effects of having to spend your life on legal proceedings, having to defend against baseless attacks. they do not understand that they need to protect kids by supporting the safe parent. They minimize kids’ sufferings and abuse. if they had lived it as a kid would they be so relaxed? if the same happened to their kids would they say it is okay, just parents fighting? courts’ view is overly simplistic and overlooking harm that DV has on kids including shortening their lives. what could have been such contributive inspiring and positive people may at best walk a thin line between depression and just being functional. they do not get the grief that mothers suffer seeing the effects of dv on their kids daily, ironically their job depends on the court cases that high conflict people create – if they are effective at handling and shutting down the high conflict litigants – so there is no prolonged litigation, what is going to happen to their jobs? Family Court system worldwide needs a reform, and a good hard look at the way they had handled cases to the demise of and harm to children and mothers who placed their faith in the system, and it is way past due.
Notice: The names in this story are fictitious to protect the request for anonymity.
