By Survivor Jani
**The following is written by a survivor of domestic violence and abuse. Names have been changed to protect all involved.**
I met my previous partner when I was 18, and he was 27.
We got married pretty fast because I got pregnant with our daughter. He was very sweet, but after we got married he was very mentally abusive.
I thought because I was “headstrong” It was fine and his good out weighed his bad because I fell in love with the man I first met. Not who he was showing me then. Not the man who would create the survivor I am now.
The First Time He Hit Me
Right before I had our daughter, he slapped me, but followed that with hysterical crying and begging for forgiveness.
The month after I had our baby, he tried to strangle me. I punched him and kicked him to get him off. When he got off, he acted like he didn’t know what he did. So I didn’t know what to do other than to take my daughter and go.
We stayed with my mom for 2 weeks, during that time he was texting me, guilt tripping me and saying all the “right things”.
“So unfortunately, we were all under the same roof a few weeks later.”
A few months later, he had secretly started getting testosterone supplied to him illegally. I didn’t know this. So he started getting more mean.
So on November 6, 2023 at approximately 4:30pm, me, him and our daughter had gotten home from visiting family, when I noticed my cat was missing.
I asked him about it (he let her out in the past). That question triggered him.
Never Thought the Survivor Would Be Me
I saw him heading to the closet where he kept his 9mm handgun. I ran to the living room where I had just put my daughter down for tummy time, and stood in front of her.
As I turned around, he shot me 3 times. Once through my left hand into my head (I was trying to shield myself). Once in my left arm, and once in my back.
I passed out, woke up and saw he had also shot our then 4 month old baby Emerie. However, I was able to call 911, but then passed out again due to my injuries. I am a survivor.
My Life is Forever Different
When the cops arrived, he had taken his life. My baby had also died.
I was airlifted to a hospital a few hours out and had multiple brain surgeries due to my brain hemorrhaging.
“I remained in a coma for a month.”
Even though, I believe God performed a miracle saving my life, I had to relearn to walk. Use my left hand and had multiple surgeries.
I now have a VP shunt in my head and a bullet lodged in the back of my skull. I am a survivor.
Today, I am in a healthy relationship and pregnant with my second daughter that’s due a week after my angel babies birthday.
It’s a Miracle
A miracle had to happen for me to still be here.
My Drs even said they didn’t know how I am a survivor.
I wish I would’ve realized sooner so my baby could be here.
We have to know the signs. We HAVE to help one another.
Check These Resources:
- Therapeutic Interventions for Healing From Domestic Violence
- The Hidden Impact of Teen Dating Violence
- Find Support with BTSADV
Support Line
Other Resources and Information:
