By Survivor Sammie S. Rose
Healing Through Accepting My Journey
My journey from merely surviving to thriving was not painless, but what was needed to fuel healing within myself. So I could move on from one of the most distressing and arduous experiences of my life.
My relationship with my abuser sent me through the reels of hell and back. To hell again and finally landing in a place of peace and empathy. I oscillated between once not being able to breathe to discovering that I was not powerless against the trauma that ensued way past the demise of our relationship.
Healing is a continuous exploration of past events that led to my present day reality. The expedition took years and years of agony that spilled to every area of my life. My way of thinking, my emotions, my behaviors, and most of all, my responses to internal and external stimuli.
Trial and Error
Needless to say, through trial and error (which I would like to frame it), I’ve found myself on the outskirts of death without the will to live. Not a sing day more because the psychological impact that domestic violence gripped me with pushed my life into an array of broken pieces.
How did I find healing through suffering? What therapeutic intervention(s) pulled me out of the dark abyss that I seemingly fell into overnight?
Due to the nature of domestic violence and its complexities, I would like to set a side note that healing is not generalized and is unique to everyone. This is to not negate the fact that the outcomes of domestic violence may be similar with varying differences in between.
My Personal Healing Work
My course through healing may work for some while it may not work for others. The premise of this blog to account my journey in hopes that will inspire others and assist in someone’s own “healing itinerary”.
When I began searching outside of myself to cope with the copious amounts of psychological, emotional, and physical effects of abuse, I fell outward into obscurity. I no longer was myself, but labeled a “victim” instead which for me personally felt disempowering.
Not only was I juggling the aftermath of domestic violence, but I was teetering with the outcomes of abuse. There was a dive into depression, fear and anxiety, anger and resentment, and confusion along with cognitive dissonance – this list is not limited to the aforementioned, but what stood out to me the most when I began identifying and addressing my experiences.
“Now comes the big question.”
What therapeutic intervention has guided me through my connection within healing? It was therapy.
Therapy was something that I once felt was for “the crazies” or “the weak”. I had to re-shift my perspectives and feelings which were deep-seated with cultural norms. Not to mention the standards along with societal views and stigmas that were attached to therapy and mental health.
I’ve decided one day to break the mold and venture into this therapeutic territory with grit and grain because I could no longer deal or manage the suffering caused by abuse. Deeply depressed, hopeless, and channeling powerlessness daily caused an affliction that was so debilitating that I knew I needed professional help or else. The latter was not an option.
Building a Future with Therapy
When it came to therapy, it undoubtedly helped me build a future. The life that I’ve imagined and desired after abuse per say. With a safe and supportive space to help me process my experiences, I was able to garner a sense of control which I didn’t have for many years.
This power gradually flourished and helped me feel as if I was in charge of my life as I progressed through therapy. The key thing that I’ve found and learned through therapy is self-empowerment.
Empowerment alone is powerful. So one can only imagine when the paradigm of empowerment is placed on oneself. Therapy included various things that abetted healing to come forth.
From psycho-education, cultivating healthy coping skills, trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy to managing my emotions better. It was through the support of my therapist who understood my totality, my experiences, and gave me the space to be seen and heard, and most of all validated.
Exercises to Use Daily
During a multitude of sessions, my therapist would provide me with exercises. One exercise that probably changed the course of my healing journey was understanding silver linings.
I went from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What can I take away from this experience?” Something inside of me immediately clicked. The shift was obvious to myself and my therapist.
From that day forward, I went through every experience asking myself what lessons transpired from moments that are not so happy or what can be considered as negative or bad. I have been in therapy for 8 years and going and I still implement this “silver lining” exercise in all that I do.
A Door to Freedom
Although there was a combination of other therapeutic interventions like support groups, mindfulness, meditation, and even other things that defined my healing, I’ve found that therapy was not only groundbreaking for me, but it was the ultimate door to freedom.
It has taught me to see myself outside of my experiences, but who I was in all of my essence. It helped me slowly love myself for the first time. My journey of healing has no destination. I believe as I continue to maneuver through life I can only take what was given to me and help others.
Healing is not contained in me, but it’s a force that is projected and placed onto those who need it as well. Today I am no longer a victim, but a survivor. I went from merely existing to T H R I V I N G.
Check These Resources:
- Complete Guide to Mindful Meditation, and Emotional Healing.
- The Hidden Impact of Teen Dating Violence
- Find Support with BTSADV
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