My name is Chantel Leroy , I am 33 and a survivor of domestic violence going on
four years now. My story is like many others, but also very unique in my own way.
You see I grew up in the foster care system starting at age three months due to my mother trying to drown me in a pool as well as being neglectful. I was in the foster care system from the ages of three months old until the age of seventeen years old. When I was four months old the physical and sexual abuse started to happen from my foster dad’s in each house I was placed in . Around the age of five , I started to think and believe that it was just normal and that’s what love was, especially from men. By the age of eight I was already in my sixth home and being taught that abuse was just what was expected to come. There were times that both parents were involved in the abuse and neglect that was going on in the housing. By the time I hit fourteen , I was placed in my ninth foster home that would turn my world upside down and bring my first real hurt into my life. The foster dad I was living with at the time would rape me every night until he saw fit to stop , the mother didn’t know what was going on at first but then when she found out she blamed me for “acting” and “ dressing” a certain way. She also found out because by the time I had hit fifteen I became pregnant for the first time , and it was his. I was shy of sixteen when I had my daughter and was forced by the parent’s to give her up for adoption. I named her Grace and she was absolutely beautiful and the family who would be taking her was so sweet and understood the situation and said at any time I want an open adoption and see her to let them know. My parents didn’t want anyone to know the truth so they hid it from everyone and told everyone I was just simply sleeping around and got pregnant. After that I just became numb to the world around me and promised myself to not let anyone else in and that I was going to do whatever it took to get out of there even if it meant running away. By the time I was seventeen , I met my oldest son’s father , Brad . He was older than me but was the best man at that point I had ever met and treated me so well. He let me move in with him and his parents because he was in the military and didn’t want to live on base at the time. We were together for a few years and got engaged and then he was sent overseas in 2011. We were only three months away from him returning and us getting married when we got the call saying he was killed in action. I was completely devastated and heartbroken that for the first time I finally felt like I had a good thing that was taken away within a matter of seconds. A week later I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son Christopher.
A few weeks later I would meet my first ex-husband , James and he would become my abuser . I never told him I was pregnant out of fear of his reaction. We got married two months into knowing each other and then I shared I was pregnant and a few months later Chris arrived. The abuse started during my pregnancy though and it only got worse as time went on. At first it was just verbal and emotional , from name calling to tearing down my confidence. Then it turned into spitting on me , a slap every now and then to peeing on me in front of his friends. Then it turned way worse , punching , kicking in the head or stomach , slamming me into furniture or walls. By the time my son had turned one I had been in the ICU more than four times and I attempted my first escape from him. Of course my family and him had convinced me to come back because I wouldn’t want my son growing up without a father. About three years later I got pregnant again but this time with his child and when we found out it was a girl , he was extremely upset and outraged by that so he started to beat me in the stomach to get rid of her. I ended up having her at 35 weeks and on valentines day in the morning. She was beautiful and so tiny but she seemed like a fighter. They did say they noticed her brain activity wasn’t where it should be and to prepare for the worst, she ended up passing away the next day and it killed me inside because I felt like I had another thing taken away from me too soon. Her name was Ravanna Marie and she is my angel baby. A few months later I ended up pregnant again , not by choice but by his. The abuse was still carrying on but when he found out it was a boy he subsided just a little but not much , just enough not to harm our son. Michael was born in 2015 and he was beautiful. The day he was born is where it all went downhill and the abuse started to progress into a deadly matter. He at that point started to have affairs and when he was confronted for them he became extremely violent , to the point I ended up in the hospital almost weekly and in the ICU almost monthly. I ended up trying to leave for good with my two son’s after he threatened to kill all three of us. I went into hiding and he found me and had his family talk me into staying with them to help him work through his abuse problems and help us get right again. I was stupid enough to fall for it and went to PA with him and his family. Within three days of being there he beat me again with my son in our arms because at that point Michael was only two months. I tried to leave that day with the kids but his family and him as well called child services on me and told them I was abusing our sons and they told me I was free to leave but the kids had to stay until an investigation was completed . I had to leave with my son running down the driveway screaming for me but I knew it was going to be best to leave and get safe and fight away then stay there and possibly get killed. Two days into being at the DV shelter I was brought into the police station and charged with child abuse and assault against a minor. I was thrown in jail and the kids were removed and placed up for adoption since the courts found him at the time. I served eighteen months and lost all rights to my kids until they turned eighteen years of age. That completely broke me to the point of several suicide attempts and seeking drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. I got clean about four years ago now and am doing a lot better. I remarried again but that ended up to be yet another abusive , toxic relationship and we divorced and separated. I now live on my own with my new best friend Tommy the cat.
Fast forward , I got diagnosed about a year ago with Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) , Glaucoma , and a neurological condition called Pseudotumor Cerebri , all of these which makes you go completely blind and other symptoms as well. A few months ago I was informed that the RP has progressed a lot faster than they expected and I will be fully blind by mid-year this year. This was a hard hit to hear especially with everything in my life that I have lost. I felt like I’m now losing the biggest part of myself and having something once again taken away from me. It has completely shattered what dreams I’ve always wanted to do for my life and has taught me to live a new way. I still struggle with this and fight my depression sometimes because I feel my independence is slowly dissolving away but I am determined to not let this seal my fate in life and shut my life behind closed doors. I have an amazing best friend who has never left my side and has been my number one motivator in life that keeps me going . She has become my best friend, my non-blood sister to me and the reason I want to fight everyday to live this crazy life. She is the only one who has stuck by my side in all of this , the one who speaks when I can’t find the words and the one who stepped up to become the caregiver I truly needed now that I need the extra help each day. She helps me with so many things on a daily basis and helps me get to where I need to be on time even though sometimes I make it hard to be on time lol. She helps make sure my house is cleaned and food is made so I’m not burning down my house and she helps just keep me company on the days I just need that support. I honestly can’t imagine life without her in it, she is my biggest blessing in this life next to my children and I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
Thank You so much for reading my story and taking time to listen to me
