Sometimes, I wish I had listened to my mom when she told me he wasn’t the ideal man for me. She knew I deserved better. I met my ex-husband when I was 17 years old. I worked at a local bank here in town. I was a student in High School. I had friends, I had adventures, I had getaways, and I had a LIFE. When I met him, it was bittersweet. I thought I had found the perfect guy for me. We dated after two months of knowing each other. He never had the courage to knock on my front door and ask me to go out to the movies or shop. It was always me asking him. He was very detailed at first, but when it came to giving me the right to go out with friends, he saw it as a way of me getting away from him to “flirt” with other men. I had a group of boyfriends, but they have never disrespected me. They took care of me as if I was their little sister. One of the guys in the group was my own brother, Emman. My ex-husband came to the US from Mexico with a work VISA, allowing him to remain in the country for a specific amount of time as long as his company allowed him to. He left for Mexico since work had slowed down. Three months later, he came back. But I never imagined him to come back with an engagement ring. He proposed to me in August of 2021. We went to a lake, and he proposed to me, saying, “It’s all for the good of both.” Three weeks later, we got married at the courthouse in town. My parents had no idea until the certificate arrived at my house, and the first one to see it was my mom. She was very sad because she knew very well I made a huge mistake. I did not care, and it was my life and my decision. As time passed, things worsened in our relationship and husband and wife. He became more strict. I was not allowed to go out with friends at all anywhere without asking permission and granting consent from him. I was forbidden to dress in skirts, or shorts, or heels because I was attracting other men. He forced me to have sex with him many times. He would shove me to the wall if I attempted to push him away. I was scared to reach out for help. Many times that we went out to eat at a restaurant, had a chance to go to the theater, go bowling, or swimming, he would leave me behind. Especially if a guy only said “hello.” He would run away and leave me sitting at the restaurant’s table or watching the movie alone. But I still accepted him. He didn’t have an education, which made him feel less because I was attending school and had a career in college. I offered to help him in any way and search for mental help, but he felt offended. What more could I have done? He asked me to apply for a residency for him, so we did. I reached out to my immigration attorney, and he filed. My ex-husband has not left the country since. After his job told him work was over again, he wanted to move to Texas with his aunt and uncles. Our attorney told him he could remain in the country with the exception of not working until he received a permit. He did not care, so he made the decision to move, but he took me along. We moved to Texas in January of 2022. I left my family, my school, my work, my friends, and my dream career in the medical field. We lived with his aunt and uncle for the time being. I went to Mexico in February due to health issues since my insurance card was not valid in Texas. I was very thrilled to see my family after so long. I told them the news of my marriage and that we were going to get married through the church. None of my family members were happy for me… they already knew him without actually knowing him. I came back to him in March, nearly one month later. That same week I arrived, everything changed… was it the last time I was going to see my family in Mexico and talk on the phone with my parents and siblings? On Friday, March 25th, 2022, I was nearly killed by my ex-husband. That day tortures me to this day. It all started because he saw a message from my friend in Mexico saying, “It’s too bad you left us behind. I would’ve invited you for a nice pizza with wine. I hope you come and visit your friends soon.” My ex-husband thought I was having an affair, and he was furious. He threw on the wall the new phone I had recently purchased, stepped on it, and bent it. He did the same to me but added the phrase, “I’m going to get rid of you.” I panicked, I opened the door and ran. I ran as fast as I ever had and yelled for help. He caught up to me… he pulled on my hair, making my head pound. He threw me in the middle of the street. He punched me in my face, making me nearly knocked out; he kicked my stomach and ribs, making it hard to breathe. I could hear his breathing and heart racing with ego and fury. I knew it was my last day alive. He got me to my feet and shoved me to my car. He drove miles away. I asked to speak with my parents one last time. He refused and hid his phone. “If tonight is all I have, let me speak to my parents one last time.” He handed me his phone, and I called my parents several times… but no luck. Little did I know that the last phone call I attempted, I was recording a voicemail; everything was recorded that night… Today, I am FREE. I filed for divorce, and I can breathe once more. I have a son. I am a single mom. I am a warrior. I am alive. I wish I had reached out with all the red flags that I saw in him. But I “loved” him, or at least I thought I did. God gave me the strength to push through, and I am. I am free, but he is too… I am not afraid because I recognize how much I took in and how much I have accomplished without him. I wear purple for me, for you, for those who are in a similar situation as me, and for those who did not make it to freedom.
