I’ve been silent for 4 years. My story isn’t as awful as some but it still changed my life and could have killed me. And the sad thing is he got away completely scot-free. Which is ironic because his name is Scott.
I was living in a live-in relationship and we had been together for 5 years. I never really felt secure but I did think I was safe. How wrong this turned out to be. He had always told me that he would never let me leave and I just thought this was an expression of his endearment. I never realised he would attempt to action this.
So it had been a bit rocky for a while and I had just been staying elsewhere for few nights to get a break but covid lockdowns were pending so I decided to return as I didn’t want him to be alone. That night he seemed extra attentive. He was pouring me wine and we were watching tv. I went to the bathroom and when I came back he was standing over my glass. I thought that was a bit weird but didn’t think too much of it. We both sat back down and settled in to watching a show on tv. It was about women in the sex industry and it was making me a little uncomfortable. Anyway, he left the room and then came back with a big glass of gin and tonic as a nightcap. Again, this seemed a bit weird but I drank it anyway. About 20 minutes later I suddenly felt nauseous and I mentioned this to him and he decided to go to bed. He left and then a few minutes later called me from the bedroom asking me to come to bed. I said I would sit for a little and see if the nausea passed. But then my legs started to feel heavy and my head started to spin. That’s when I realised I had been drugged. I focused and decided to put on my ugg boots, get my keys, and get to my car. I was lucky, I have a van and the mattress was set up for camping in the back. I sent my sister a message letting her know what was happening and I dragged myself to my car before I passed out. I left my phone in the house.
Next thing I knew he was bashing on the car door as my sister had been calling and demanding to speak to me. He gave me my phone and I asked him what he had given me. He said it was a mixture of cocaine and E but I knew it wasn’t that. I had taken e’s in my 20s and they never had this effect. He left and I spoke to my sister and told her I had locked myself in the van and that I was just going to sleep now. Then I passed out. I woke up a few hours later and called the police as I didn’t know what else to do. They showed up and I didn’t want to charge him at the time because I was still in shock that he would do such a thing. This was somebody that I trusted. And then the police talked to him and he out rightly lied. This also shocked me. I heard him telling the police that I was a drug taker and that I was unstable. I hadn’t taken drugs in nearly 20 years. I was shocked that he could turn the blame on me. I now realise that he had pre-thought this entire outcome. Even the possibility of the police showing up he had premeditated. Anyway, I still didn’t lay charges and I didn’t get a medical and I went back to sleep. When I woke up I was locked out of the house and he refused to answer the door. I had to call the police again just to get my basic belongings. They were rude and unhelpful when I was collecting my things. I was appalled with their response and had to remind them that I was the victim in this situation.
I grabbed a few things and went to the hospital to see if I could get a drug test. The doctor told me I should just go back to him and talk it out. I couldn’t believe his response. Anyway, I left the town with my car and a few belongings and went to my sisters.
I didn’t return but I was still in disbelief that things had turned out that way so a few months later I reached out as I wanted to know why he would do that to me. We reengage for a while but I had my own place now so I thought this might be better. I was wrong. I don’t know why I let him back in. I guess I wanted resolution. Anyway, he started making small demands regarding the amount of contact required. We met up and he was late and we ended up in an argument. That’s when I realised nothing would ever change so I decided to never see him again and said so. A few weeks later he sent me flowers for Christmas. I didn’t respond. A little while after this I returned from work. I was working in a club and usually finished about 7pm. I was sitting out the front of my little bedsit when I saw someone from the corner of my eye. Then I saw his arm behind a post. I wasn’t sure if I had really seen this or not. I went inside and locked up. Then I heard something at my backdoor and snuck a peek out the window and saw him leaving. I went back to bed hoping that would be the end of it. The next night I was sleeping but I woke to the smell of gas. I thought about all the appliances I had but nothing was gas. And then I remembered the bbq at my backdoor which was the entrance to my bedroom. I went outside and checked the gas bottle and it was fully on and gas was pouring out of it. One flick and the whole place would have blown up. I was shaking and called the police. They came over but said there was nothing they could do as I didn’t have any proof. The next morning I went to go to a job interview but my car tyre had been spiked.
I haven’t seen him since and I have moved 2000kms away but this all still haunts me and it’s been 4 years. The incident changed my life. It left me homeless, jobless and relationshipless. But I have survived. And I have moved on. But thank you for letting me voice my story. It’s shocking what is happening in Australia right now. I hope this is the impetus for change. Too many lives are lost every year at the hands of someone they love. Enough is enough.
